SomePeopleThink This is the 7 Step Rehab Plan for Baseball

SomePeopleThink That Baseball is ‘America’s Pastime’. Well guess what, it’s 2011 and no one has any extra time that needs passing. Especially  not Monday through Saturday, between 7 and 10. Don’t get me wrong, I could not be more excited for Opening Day. Unlike most people who pretend to get excited for Opening Day, then forget about baseball for 3 months, I actually love this sport. Especially as a fantasy baseball whore ( I do such dirty things for my team you have no idea). The general consensus around baseball is “Yea, it could get better, but lets just play this heritage thing out cause if it ain’t broke, why fix it?” Except that’s what I thought about my iPod …until I found myself 30,000 feet above Tulsa sandwiched between a gastronomically active Indian man and a baby hellbent on taking all of his mommy’s bad parenting out on Flight 129. So here, is how SomePeopleThink Baseball can do a little preventative maintenance.

1) A Pitchers Clock – Baseball is too long. I know it doesn’t average much longer than the typical football game, but the investment/excitement ratio is way worse. And unless you are my 80 year grandfather, no one has enough time to sit down and watch a game. The game needs to get faster.  Like a shot clock in basketball, after every pitch, the pitcher then has 30 seconds to begin his windup. If not, automatic ball.

2) A Batters Clock – Likewise, the batter gets 10 seconds outside the box to do whatever – redo his gloves, adjust his junk, do sudoku… I don’t care. But he best be ready to swing in 10. If not, automatic strike….

3) Colorful Uniforms – Yea I said it. Why must every team be white at home and then some washed-out, dull, grey color when away. I want bold, crazy colors, and patterns like other sports. Why so serious?

4) Instant Replay – Human element is  valid excuse in a game like football where there are 1,000 things happening at once and it is impossible to catch it all. In baseball, everyone is looking at the same exact thing at the same exact time. I don’t know why we still need to pretend like human error needs to be part of the game. Outside balls and strikes, it wouldn’t be hard with  camera technology today to make sure everything else was accurate. A call is made, if the call is incorrect, it is reversed from upstairs a split second later. It would not slow down the game because it doesn’t take more than 4 seconds to watch a replay in baseball and make the right call (this isn’t usually needed more than a few times a game anyways, if at all). Armando Galarraga agrees….

5) DH or no DH – I am tired of hearing about the tradition of baseball. Like everything in America since 1900, it has always been changing and always will be. Enough with aserisks and who did what when; things happen and we fix it to make it better. Barry Bonds did steroids so we banned them. Having different rules for half the teams vs the other half  makes no sense. If your a pitcher, pray to god you go to the NL… you get 3 guaranteed strikeouts a game…

6) Move the Astros – Will someone please tell me why we have one division with 6 teams and another with 4? But both divisions send just one team to the playoffs even though every other division has 5 teams. Huh? Move the Astros to the AL West to create some intense Texas rivalry between them and the Rangers and then we have 5’s across the board. Very simple.

7) Music Stats – This is my favorite suggestion and needs to be implemented most urgently. When a player goes to bat, a song of their choosing is blasted over the stadium’s loud speaker. The fans never rarely hear this unless in attendance. How cool would it be if this information was available to the public…and recorded. I would absolutely love to know what Troy Tulowitzki has on his playlist. Instead of hearing announcers drone on about Nick Swishers BABIP vs lefty pitchers when its above 40 degrees, we could hear that he bats .315 after listening to ‘Turn Your Swag On’ by SouljaBoy but only .270 to David Guetta’s ‘Sexy Bitch’ (understandably so…) Think of al the fun analytics we just discovered (rap vs rock, a batting slumps correlations to music, what teams in different markets prefer and so on…). SomePeopleThink this would be a great way to inject fun into a sport that sometimes listens to it’s ego more than its fans…

SomePeopleThink you cant root for Uconn tonight if you’re a Syracuse fan

I most ‘cuse people I’ve talked to about tonight’s game couldn’t care less about whether Uconn wins, but as a fan of the Big East I feel as though have something invested in the game. Generally I’ll root against Uconn to lose in any given situation, even though they’re from the Big East, even though Jim Calhoun was born 35 minutes away from where I grew up, Connecticut is in New England (kinda) and a guy from my 7th grade baseball team played there for 4 years (J-E-F-F! JEFF! JEFF! JEFF!). All signs point to me liking Uconn, but I literally don’t think I’ve ever rooted for them before in my entire life. Well tonight I will, and here is why. It infuriates me to watch Chuck shit all over the Big East in post-game coverage while he and Kenny aren’t even analysts of NCAA ball; they have zero business being in that studio. I can’t stand the fact that my bracket has all Big East teams going deep (8 in the Sweet Sixteen out of straight loyalty), while they all shit the bed too damn early. And it frustrates me to no end when I think that after having 9 Big East teams in the top 25 to end the season, there are two in the Sweet Sixteen. It sucks. I’m embarrassed for all the shit I talked about the ACC and Big Ten.  Uconn needs to go deep in this tournament to redeem the Big East, just like Louisville did last year. Because of all that, tonight I’ll be rooting for the University of Patheticut. Tough for me to say, but I feel like I had to explain myself.

Anyway the real reason for this post was to put up some awesome Jordan brand commercials about college basketball, first one is relevant to Uconn, the second one is just because I love it.

Go Orange

-piff

(Thanks to Amanda McCarthy for the video, she was my muse on this one.)

SomePeopleThink People Need to Step Up Their Marriage Game

At 23 years old, I gotta say, I’m feeling like a pretty old dude these days. With taxes due in a couple weeks, bills coming in every first of the month, toilet paper running dangerously low, potato skins clogging my sink, and a cute little mouse running around my apartment, the realities of getting older are slapping me in the face daily. And yea, that mouse is cute as hell, you try killing it you damn heathen. But seriously…what makes me feel older, more than anything else, is thinking about some of my friends getting married in the coming year. It’s crazy to me because I am nowhere close to marriage, that stage of my life seems so far away – I feel like the Redskins trying to make it to the Superbowl. Sure, hopefully one day it will happen, but right now my game is still developing, I keep overpaying for jeans that no longer fit, my credit card company is always telling me I need better protection, and I am constantly dropping my Ipod when I run.  For a few though, the wedding day is drawing near, and I am sure that’s a pretty cool feeling.

You may find this surprising, but I am actually excited for my friends – and that’s not only because of the selfish reasons involving bachelor parties and awesome weddings. Say what you will, but I personally love the idea of finding someone that you want to share the rest of your life with, making a pledge to that person, and starting an exciting new life-chapter together. But enough with the sappiness, the reason for this is post is to share a message to all of you engaged, or soon to be engaged: STEP YO DAMN MARRIAGE GAME UP.

Learn from these folks and have some fun with the craziness that is planning a wedding. Here are some great examples of what I am talking about. Check out these hilarious wedding invitations, and get inspired people.



There ya go my happy couples, I don’t want to see any fancy schmancy invitations – No excuses. I have high expectations of invitations involving pop culture references, nerdy stuff, shotguns, and Tom Cruise. I look forward to receiving them in the mail. Ahem, you know who I’m talking to.

On an extremely similar note – I want to say a big congratulations to TheGreatMikesby for his recent engagement to our lovely editor, Loliebrese. They were high school sweethearts and now are set to be married in the fall. Awesome stuff. So, if you’ve got a good heart, please give Mike congratulations down below in the comment section. I know most of you will shrug off the comment, but I really want to give this to him…and since Im in a loving mood, I’m prepared to raise the stakes. If we get 30 congratulations down below in the comment section, I will video tape myself singing All 4 One – I Swear and will post it on this blog. Completely serious. I am kinda terrified to propose this though so it might not last long. I suggest you take advantage.

One love.

SomePeopleThink Matt Cooke is the biggest scum-bag in professional sports

For those who dont know this low life, Matt Cooke is the poster boy for hockey players who attempt hits, check that, cheap shots on players with the intent to injure. On March 7th of last year, he laid a blindsided shoulder directly to the head of Bruins Center, Marc Savard (below), a hit for which he was not suspended by the NHL. Savard has not returned in full form yet, as he still suffers from the effects of concussion he received.  Since this time, similar such hits to the head have been banned by the NHL, however fines and suspensions have been wildly inconsistent and many say soft. Until now.  This past Sunday on national TV, Cooke administered a similarly dirty hit to the head of Ryan McDonagh of the Rangers (also below).  McDonagh was dropped with an elbow to the face from Cooke, as he came in from his blindside. Yesterday the NHL dropped the hammer, suspending Cooke for the remainder of the season, the first round of the playoffs (a total of what could be 17 games) and fining him close to a quarter million dollars.

While I would have loved nothing more then to see this guy ride the bench for the rest of the year, it’s great to know that there are repercussions for hits such as these.  I loved it when the NFL did it this as well, and while Brandon Merriweather is one of my boys, the shot he took on Todd Heap what just unacceptable. Honestly he probably should have missed a game for that one too. Anyway it’s good to hear that this guy got what was coming to him, because he truly is a scumbag. He said he wants to change up his act.  Ok Matt Cooke, I don’t believe you.  The second he gets on the ice hes going to revert to his old ways of douche-baggery. And when he does, I hope someone drops his ass like Sean Thornton did the game after the Savard hit.

Last April, after Cooke pretty much ended Marc Savard’s carrear, he attempted to do similar damage to Atlanta Thrashers 18 year-old rookie, Patrick Evander Kane.  Seeing the turned around 18 year old on the boards, he pumped his skates and tried to throw an elbow into the back of Kane’s head, which he missed. What Cooke probably didn’t know at the time was that Kane comes from a family of boxers. As a matter of fact he was named after Evander Holyfield, and his father and cousin were both boxers (his cousin fought in the ’92 Olympics in Barcelona).  So when Kane noticed the attempted cheap shot, he immediately dropped his gloves and in one punch, left Matt Cooke laying motionlessly concussed on the ice shivering like a new born baby.  I have no pity for this guy, thats what you deserve when you try to cheap shot at a 18 year old kid fresh out of high school, I hope the NHL keeps this up and continues to suspend players who try to end other players careers.

Check out the videos of all three hits below:

The hit he should have gotten suspended for:

The hit he did get suspended for:

The attempted hit he got his ass kicked for:

Suck it Matt Cooke.

-piff

Some People Think I shouldn’t be listening to techno at 11:45 pm on a Monday

But unfortunately for my sleep schedule, I had a fucking AWESOME weekend. You know, one of those weekends where you wake up Monday morning with a little bit of a headache still from Saturday (don’t judge me, I’m not in college anymore).  Anyway, I went to a show Saturday then went to a bar with a killer DJ and as a result I can’t stop banging techno. Below are a few songs that I cant get out of my head, hope you enjoy.

Eric Prydz – Pjanoo

Brenton Duvall – Mean Planes & Taylor Gangs (Wiz Khalifa and Taylor Swift)

Afrojack – Take Over Control (Feat. Eva Simons)

Crystal Castles – Pap Smear

Paper Diamond – Imagine the Possibilities

Crystal Castles – Not In Love (Ft. Robert Smith)

Ellie Goulding – Lights (Bassnectar remix)

Thats it for now, I have a few more that I’ll save for next time. Saw Crystal Castles again this weekend (see above) and it was freaking awesome as expected. I highly recommend everyone checks out both of their albums (both self-titled, so hipster) if you enjoy the songs above.  And definitely see them if they come to your city.  Also Brenton Duval is the same guy who put out the Lights! mash-up with Ellie Goulding and Wale’s Guilty Pleasure, above is another version of the vocals by bassnectar which I also like. Her voice was made for techno. Anyway I’m waiting on the setlist from the DJ from Saturday so maybe ill have a few more goodies for ya later on, but enjoy these until then.

one!

-piff

SomePeopleThink Inspiration is Contagious

SomePeopleThink I am a sucker for inspirational quotes, regardless of how cheesy they may be (It’s true). SomePeopleThink we are just a bunch of passionate individuals who refuse to settle for anything but greatness in our lives. SomePeopleThink fulfilling our souls with meaning is why we wake up every morning. SomePeopleThink inspiration is amongst the most powerful things in the world. SomePeopleThink it’s funny that I paid 8 bucks for a Domino’s pizza, but can give someone all the power in the world for free.

Enjoy.

I have that one on a coffee mug at work…

Typography inspiration

Typography inspiration

Typography inspiration

Some People Think Nate Dogg was the goddamn man

Yesterday was another sad day for hip hop as we lost one of the truest OGs in the game. Nate Dogg died Wednesday at the age of 41 as a result of complications from multiple strokes. While Nate Dogg wasn’t ever known for his individual albums or songs, his voice killed the hook on countless singles dating back to the early 90’s with a style that was originally West coast but mixed so well with artists from all around the country.  He was truly a master of the chorus, his soulful voice carried an amazingly gangster swagger to it which made him the go to for any radio jam of the time, influencing current artists like Akon and T-Pain to try and follow in his path.

Unfortunately his death, coupled with the March 9th anniversary of Biggie’s shooting, brings to mind other great names in hip hop that we have lost in the last few years. Some of my favorites like Guru of Gang Starr (2010), Chad “Pimp C” Butler (2007), and J Dilla (2006) are among the many names of the fallen.  Its a sad realization that none of these men lived past 45. This fact weighs heavy on my Hip Hop loving heart.

Nate Dogg was a staple of my youth, I grew up listening to his music and his passing saddens me greatly. In his honor I would like to share 5 of my favorites by him (in no particular order). I’m sure I’ll be leaving out a few so I encourage you all to attach some more to the comment section.

I definitely burned this song onto a CD after stole it with Napster. This was way before my iPod days. And this was Fab’s first single, good looking Nate!

Had to throw in some laced 213 track.  Obviously Snoop, Nate, and Warren G all came up together, this song is an absolute banger. Nate kills the hook without a question.

Who didn’t want Nate Dogg to have your back after this song came out? I was ten and understood that much.

Nate doing his thing on one of the many singles off Get Rich or Die Trying.

This last one was a tough choice for me, I know I left out some heavy hitters (Xxplosive, Area codes, Oh No, Bitch Please, Dump, Next Episode, Where I’m From etc…) but I play this song all the time. This Obie Trice album is really good, and this is absolutely my favorite song off it. Plus I just think Nate destroys the hook beyond recognition.

hats my list… I feel disappointed I can’t add more.

Rest in peace Nate.

-Piff

SomePeopleThink Ochocinco is a businessman and a business… man

SomePeopleThink you should forget about these “brand experts”. Everything you need to know about marketing can be learned from the genius of a certain well-known NFL football player with a spanglish last name… Chad Ochocinco.

Before you begin to roll your eyes, check the facts: Chad Ochocinco’s twitter account (@ochocinco) has more twitter followers than GQ Magazine, Forbes, and SportsCenter combined… by over a million. Sure, he’s famous cause he’s an NFL Player, and an All-Pro at that, but Ocho has amassed the cult-like following he has today from systematically building a powerhouse brand based around his unique personality, honesty, passion, and versatility. A brand that I can assure you will greatly outlast his playing years…he is already building his very own media empire. So please, if you’re a wannabe “branding expert” such as myself, take it from me and learn from this guy. Here is what he can teach us:

1) Brands should differentiate by being weird: You know why? Because we notice weird things. Simple as that. And isn’t the big goal of marketing to get people to notice you? While there are plenty of examples where Ochocinco exemplifies this, his name is the most apparent. When he announced his name switch from Chad Johnson to Chad Ochocinco, most people brushed it off as a ‘dumb publicity stunt’. Everyone quickly (and lazily) pointed out that tying his name to something as fickle as his jersey # was idiotic for reasons varying from the incorrect grammar of his new Spanish name to the fact that he might not be #85 at one point in his career. Sure, these are completely valid points, but people completely missed the immense value that his name change had in his branding. He now had his identity of which to build from, and a catchy one at that. It was an identity that allowed him to stand out from the competitive market place of ‘Wide Receivers with the Last Name Johnson’ (Calvin, Andre, Bryant, Jaymar and Stevie). No one argues who’s the greatest Ochocinco starting at WR… even if it is weird. Brand example: Skittles and their weird Facebook and Twitter feeds.

2) Brands should not take themselves too seriously, but show people they’re dedicated: Traditionalists are quick to write off Ocho as another self-centered diva WR sending poor messages to youth and destroying the integrity of the game. Not me though. In my eyes, every player should have the outlook that Ocho does. First, he reminds the world that he’s playing a game – not saving humans or fighting criminals… he’s playing a game. So what if he putts the football with a pylon? He’s a model citizen, and as a football player, no one has ever questioned his athleticism, work ethic, or locker room presence. He is a perfectionist on the field (see his footwork – 3:00 mark) and his dedicated passion to the game makes him great at what he does. When you’re an already successful and law-abiding citizen, you’ve earned the luxury to take a less serious approach to your personality. Example: There is a hot sushi joint in Denver (of all places for great sushi) called Hapa, where I was a regular. The vibe was hip, the waitresses looked like models and dressed like they knew it,  and the music was DJ’ed live on weekends. It was a sexy place to be, and their ‘sultry named’ special sushi rolls complimented their style – “The 69 Roll”, “The Blowjob Roll”, “The Orgasm Roll”, etc. However, these names were neither offensive nor tacky. Why? Because the food was amazing (like NYC quality fish) and the place was cool to be in. Not serious names, but some seriously bangin’ sushi… when you have the product to back it up, you can be a little less ‘serious’.

3) Brands need to show human qualities…people don’t like corporate robots: Trying to be overly PC is one of the biggest areas where I see companies and people falling into mediocrity. It’s just boring. I am not condoning racist jokes or vulgarity in the social mediasphere, but I am surely not the first person to tell you that good branding is evoking emotions between consumers and products. People don’t relate to robots, which is why your ‘voice’ shouldn’t sound like one. So, while Chad has a ‘weird’ personality and is a freakish athlete, he also constantly reminds us that he’s just a guy.  Yea, maybe it may make him look outlandish at times, but it also humanizes him. Tweets about 14 hour Call of Duty binges or his kids flipping out at Disney Land remind the world that he exists as a real person. Businesses could do themselves a favor and stop trying so hard. Drop the buzzwords and lose the catchy, yet unsubstantiated mottos. We as consumers want to relate to brands because they invariably dictate who we are – and it’s much easier to relate to a company who seems human than to one who’s ever afraid to show its softer side. Chad twitpics pictures of him and his grandma; Shawn Merriman posts links to his energy drink… guess which one I click?

4) Brands should show their versatility in their social media content: Chad Ochocinco has lots of interests: Xbox. Dancing. Media. Soccer. Josh Groban. None of which will make him a cent in the NFL… and that is perfectly okay because no one is making any cents in the NFL these days (haha, pun!).  While other players may be scavenging for work with the impending 2011 NFL lockout, Chad has seemingly found 50 different ways to pay his bills from his other areas of interest. You’ve already heard by now that he’s going to get signed by MLS’s Sporting Kansas City. Publicity stunt – maybe. Paycheck – definitely. Just off the top of my head, Ocho could probably make good money starting his own COD league or opening a dance studio in Miami. He’s attached his name to things outside his realm of expertise, so when the market shifted outside of his control, he was prepared. As a brand, use social media to accomplish the same level of versatility. Specifically, brands should focus on occasionally writing about new topics that may be interesting and pertinent to their respective customer base, rather than the usual self-centered mush (“…today we hosted this event and last week we opened this office…”). Customers will appreciate it, resulting in improved brand interaction and stronger brand loyalty. Say you’re an IT security company, why not comment on the hottest new mobile apps? It may have nothing to do with your current revenue stream, but at least it shows you’re a thought leader on industry trends. You never know who you may reach… maybe some superstar NFL player needs his self-titled, widely popular gaming app to have higher security standards as they roll out more versions… Funny how that came full circle.

SomePeopleThink 85 is just a number. Chad Ochocinco sees it as a brand… a brand in which he has built masterfully over his NFL career. Companies can learn a thing or two from this salsa-dancing wide receiver.

SomePeopleThink This Explains Social Media Pretty Damn Well

via: http://vanished-omen.tumblr.com/

SomePeopleThink Pi Day Opens the Door for new Holidays

Listen here, if you wished someone a happy Pi day today, you are a nerd. That is not a holiday. Whatever guy came up with it isn’t even funny. It’s not even the exact value, you fucking rounded. I mean if you’re gonna call 3/14 Pi Day, why can’t we turn any significant number into a holiday?

March 16 – Stone Cold Day- This one is actually coming up this week. It celebrates the legend that is Stone Cold Steve Austin. Every kid in middle school had an Austin 3:16 shirt. This day is typically celebrated by pouring beer down your throat from a foot away from your face, smashing the can, flipping the bird to innocent bystanders and giving all people offended a move called the “Stunner.”

April 11 – 411 used to be my favorite phone number until Bush issued a charge every time you call it. You could literally get any information you wanted. Just think if W called 411 during Katrina, the guy would have known what state to send help to. With that said, and in honor of information, on 4/11 Jeopardy will spread knowledge by hosting a tournament where two great former contestants face a computer. The computer wins. Who would have guessed?

June 9 – 69 Day- Pretty self explanatory. Everyone gives but also receives. Similar to Christmas. The happiest day of the year. Very popular holiday in Vegas, Amsterdam and Atlantic City. Charlie Sheen hosts a telethon each year to raise money for STDs.

October 4 – Ten-Four is some police lingo which, I think, means they understand whatever was just said. No idea why they can’t just say “I got it,” “That makes sense,” or “Thanks Bro,” but it does sound cool when used in other context. Urban dictionary says 10-4 could also mean: “A girl being a rating of 10 from afar and a 4 from up close.. Basically an ugly girl up close and hot from afar.” It’s my holiday so I’m going with the latter definition. This year’s chairwoman of the 10/4 parade is Fergie. Boom Boom Pow Dirty Bit

Science geeks want to make their own holidays? I can play that game too. See you in June.

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