Some People Think These Two Should be International Diplmoats

Some People Think there is a lot going wrong in the world today. We have earthquakes, corrpuption, and Lady Gaga terrorizing our international communities. Politicians and nations worldwide keep talking, but theres not enough action. But take a look at these two. Two fresh faces. Just getting in all up in each other and really getting after it. Talking about the real issues. Like moonwalking and making sure you speak clearly. All you need is a little love, and maybe a lot of Jimi Hendrix solos in Hungarian train stations.

SomePeopleThink the NFL Draft Makes for a Great Drinking Game

By the Great Mikesby:

I know creating drinking rules to TV events is sooo freshman year. But lets face it, freshmen almost have souls and the NFL Draft is long. I love it, but it’s long. Fun drinking games can help make that 4th hour  a heck of a lot more interesting. Here’s how to play:

First make your Mock Draft, even if it’s just ripping off mine. Then drink to these rules. (As an aside, I never got the dynamics of this type of drinking game – so you can substitute drinking yourself for the person of your choice) Hooray for competition! I’ll most likely be sitting alone in my Nerdom watching tonight, so these rules will be self-imposed.

1)    Every time you properly select a player going to the right team in the right spot, chug for the number of seconds that the pick is (makes corrects picks late in the draft real valuable).

2)    If you select a player in the right spot, wrong team, take a sip.

3)    If you select a player to the right team in the wrong spot (due to trades) take a sip.

4)    Everytime there is an awkward live TV moment, take a sip.

5)    If this awkward moment is a result of Todd McShay making Mel Kiper look foolish, take a bigger sip.

6)    Every time an announcer refers to a player as an animal or with animal-like qualities (i.e. vision like a hawk, strength like a bear, plays like a silverback gorilla [used on Rolando McClain last year btw]), take an elephant-like gulp.

7)    Every time a player is compared to a hall of famer, take a sip.

8)    The audience boo’s…take a sip.

9)    Any time the word ‘swagger’ is used, take a sip.

10) Whenever a relative who plays/played in the NFL is mentioned, take a sip.

11) Every time ESPN introduces a new ‘expert’ after the first 5, take a sip. This could get messy, so make sure you are keeping track…

12) If the clock winds down to 30, start chugging until a pick is made.

13) Take a shot if the Lions draft a WR in the first round.

14) Take a shot if the Vikings miss their pick … I have a feeling this may actually happen again this year…

15) If a current event totally unrelated to football is mentioned, take a sip (i.e. Royal Wedding, Fast & The Furious, the country of Mexico…), take a sip.

16) Flowing tears equals flowing beers. Take a sip every time a player cries.

17) Any time Mark Schlereth looks like he may secretly be urinating on set into a towel, go relieve yourself. Supposedly, this actually happens…

18) Every time there is an awkward white person/black person interaction (i.e. handshake, use of words, comments…), take a sip.

19) Every time a player is clearly unhappy about where he landed, take a sip. Then curse at him for whining about making millions of dollars for playing football.

20) SomePeopleThink this will lead you to not remember anything past the 2nd round. If you think that doesn’t matter, then you don’t deserve to play. Take a sip of ammonia or something…

SomePeopleThink This Is Everything You Need To Know About The NFL Draft

Omg. O. M. G. It’s here. Christmas morning for the ultimate football nerd. I love the the NFL Draft like Katy Perry loves making super catchy pop hits. Enough with my blabbering though. You’re probably feeling a lot like it’s college all over again and your cramming for a big test – ya know, the ones where  information only needs to be retained for a mere one day, then it can vanish forever. Time is scarce. Unlike you fools, I have been prepping for this draft since May 1st of last year (just remember who to thank when you look like a stud at your buddy’s drat party tomorrow). I’ve thrown together the ultimate study guide. It’s like if Quora and Google bore a child of knowledge known as my mind. Questions, answers, predictions, and of course, a mock.  Easy and simple. Get to work:

Will this get nerdy?

Yes.

Is the draft the second best NFL event of the year?

Yes.

1) Kickoff Sunday

2) NFL Draft

3) The Superbowl

The Superbowl writes history for two teams, the draft helps determine every team’s future… plus the Bills are so far removed from the Superbowl, that the draft tends to be much more relevant for me…

Who is the best player in the draft?

Patrick Peterson. Just trust me… he is. He’s a name you come to know very well.

Who will go first overall?

Cam Newton

Who should go first overall?

Anyone but Cam Newton (see below). Patrick Peterson should go #1. Panthers have some good players on their defense already, and adding Peterson will solidify the defensive team identity and build around it (Remember, defense wins championships). Their offense needs a ton of help and one player won’t be the fix. Marcell Dareus would be a good pick too, but this is a division with great passers (Brees, Ryan, and up and comer Freeman who will be good). Peterson is a sure thing. Also, they drafted Jimmy Clausen last year which is why Cam Newton makes no sense… wait… hold on…

Will Cam Newton be a huge bust?

Yes.

Why?

He is a freak of a specimen. He is not an NFL QB. He has BLARING character issues. Like this will be the guy to run your franchise?  No effing way. Plus, his accuracy is sub par*. He played in a system at Auburn where he didn’t call any plays, and his passing plays almost never had more than two passing progressions (run was his third option). That’s not much more advanced than most highschool QB’s.

Back to my original point, Jimmy Clausen was drafted last year with their top pick.  Sure, he doesn’t have the upside of Cam, but he still has many of the same red flags. But the Panthers probably can’t afford to pay two young, top pick QB’s and truthfully, you’re very naive if you think you can evaluate Jimmy Clausen based on one half season on a terrible team. Remember, plenty of rookies suck their first year.

*Side Note: Passing power is the most overated quality when evalutating prospects; QB accuracy is far more valuable when translating to the NFL level.

Will there be lots of trading?

Yes… probably more so than in years past. The overall consensus on players is more muddled and fluid than in years past.

Will the Patriots make some deals with with 6 picks in the first 3 rounds?

Yes. But not at 17. The Patriots defense isn’t good. It is young, and loaded with upside (Mayo, McCourty, Merriweather and Brandon Spikes, to name a few), but not good.  Adding one more defensive line stud would quickly make this defense poised to be elite very soon.

At 28, expect them to trade down to acquire more picks. This is where, I believe, Andy Dalton will be selected – his stock seems to have caught fire this past week. I’d like the Bengals to move up and make a snag if they don’t go QB in the first.

Who is the most confusing player to predict?

Da’Quan BowersOnce a predicted top overall pick, now potentially a second rounder? Mostly because his stock fell so dramatically after the combine (which is a pretty short time to fall from grace). Curious to see where he lands.

How many QB’s go in the 1st Round?

4 – Newton, Gabbert, Locker, and Dalton.

Who will be the best dressed player at the draft?

Von Miller

Most interesting first round pick?

Minnesota Vikings. What they do could define how the rest of the first round shakes out.

Is the Thursday night format better?

Yes. Teams love it because it slows down a very hectic day. I like it because it breaks up a weekend filled with television.

ESPN or NFL Network?

NFL Network if you can get it. Better screen layout and they don’t spend 80% of their time on the top 10 players. Better personalities as well.

Team I forsee making a terrible decision:

Dallas Cowboys. This team is real confused. 

Top 3 Underrated Players:

1)   Jonathan Baldwin – WR Pittsburgh  – He may fall to the second round… so did Anquan Boldin. This kid will be a monstor, you heard it here first.

2)  Casey Matthews LB – Oregon – The measurable  difference between top prospects is marginal. You can’t measure genetics. At least I can’t.

3)  Nate Solder – OT – This kid is a wall. You can teach footwork technique but you can’t teach a man to become a  6’8 Minotaur.

 

Top 3 True Sleepers:

1)   Dontay Moch – ILB – Nevada –  This kid is a FREAK. Everywhere I look has him to the Dolphins in the 3rd… not sure why.  He’s gonna be good though and whoever gets him will have a steal.

2)  Ras-I Dowling – CB – Virginia – Named like a new computer processor, but he plays like a graceful swan.

3)  Muhammed Wilkerson –  DT – Temple  – He may wind up a unforeseen top 10 pick, probably a  top 20 at worst. He has a motor, and its certainly a hemi.

Top 3 Biggest Busts:

1)   Cam Newton – See above

2)  Anthony Castonzo  – OG – Boston College –  Has any one of the scouts even seen this guy play? He is miserable. I admit, I really am no expert at scouting o-lineman, but I can recognize  a guy who is slow off the snap and constantly getting burned. (Robert Quinn vs Anthoyn Castonzo)  I am honestly baffled at why the ‘experts’ have him so high.  Scope his senior bowl tape too if you don’t believe me. Hopefully the Patrtiots make their pick based on sentiment…

3)  Ryan Mallet – QB – Arkansas – Sure he has a rocket arm but his lack of decision making ability and inaccuracy are what will prevent him from ever being a good pro. And he’s a pretty big douche when he opens his mouth…

Coolest name in the draft?

Ben Ijalana, OT – Villanova

Could this be the most exciting draft ever?

Definitely. No one really knows what’s happening with this Lockout BS, but supposedly there is a solid chance that ‘informal’ free agency begins tomorrow.  Never have we seen teams shop for rookies and free agents simultaneously. If that happens, I would drain my life savings to sit in a war room tomorrow… It would be mayhem.

Should we be real?

Yea. That probably won’t happen. The truth is that this is one of the weakest draft classes to come out in the last decade.

Mock Draft

(This is what I predict WILL happen… not should.  And I don’t waste time trying to predict trades.  I know they will happen, but shuffling around my board would just be pure guessing…)

Carolina – Cam Newton QB Auburn – The Panthers will take Cam. Let’s face it. This way they can have this same pick again in 2016.

Denver – Marcell Dareus DT Alabama  – Again, a ton of needs. Try to build the trenches has always been Jon Fox’s formula…

Buffalo – Vonn Miller  OLB Texas AM – The Bills have so many needs that a trade would be wise, but Miller provides  needed linebacker help for a team hat has shown complete ineptitude at stopping the run and sacking the quarterback (especially in the 4th quarter) Gabbert would be wise here though.

Cincinatti – Blaine Gabbert QB Missouri– Carson is out. No decent QB free agent will consider signing with Cinci and Marv Lewis’ new contract relives pressure to win now. Gabbert is the best QB in this draft as he offers the whole package… I really like Gabbert’s potential.

Arizona – Patrick Peterson CB LSU – Arizona desperately needs a QB, but I’m guessing they will go the veteran route and sign a free agent (Orton, Kolb, Mcnabb, Young, Hill…) to keep Larry Fitz in town past next season .  Patrick Peterson is amazing value and will look great opposite DRC and in front of Adrian Wilson.

Cleveland – AJ Green WR Georgia – McCoy’s new toy.

San Francisco – Cameron Jordan DE  California – Harbaugh goes with a guy he knows well, who will compliment Patrick Willis well on a fierce defense.

Tennessee – Robert Quinn DE North Carolina– I don’t see them risking QB after what they’ve been through with Vince Young. Quinn has too much upside to pass on for this defensive minded team. QB will be taken later or via free agency.

Dallas – Nick Fairley DT Auburn – A big DT to play in the 3-4. Honestly, Dallas sucks, Dallas has more needs than people seem willing to admit so acquiring picks seems wise. With teams like Miami and Jacksonville trying to leapfrog Washington for a Jake Locker, I think a trade is likely. I’ll keep it simple for now.

Washington – Julio Jones WR Alabama– Good value for a team need..

Houston –  Prince Akunamara CB Nebraska – Although they took a CB last year in the first round, I think they still go with a great player that fills a team need.

Minnesota – JJ Watt  DE Wisconsin – They are in win NOW mode as they are simply one QB away- they will not take the best QB available  and go QB via free agency (Kolb makes the most sense here and the Vikings would be wise to exchange this pick for him straight up). I predict they replace Ray Edwards. With  possibility for a trade down with a team reaching for Locker.

Detroit – Aldon Smith LB Missouri –  CB could happen here as well if one of the aforementioned CB’s happen to fall…but look for the Lions to vamp up their LB core…

St. Louis – Muhammed Wilkerson DT Temple – Rams fill a big need with a defensive monster. I love this guy.

Miami – Jake Locker QB Washington- This team  will give Henne one more year while they groom Locker. His versatility may make him the newest twist in the Wildcat… if not the Dolphins, expect a trade here for Locker. He won’t make it past this pick.

Jacksonville – Da’Quan Bowers DE  Clemson – The Jags are the only team who suck more at drafting than the Buffalo Bills. Maybe something dumb like Ryan Mallet… but picking yet another DE seems likely. Does anyone else feel like that’s the only thing they draft in the 1st round ever?

New England –  Ryan Kerrigan DE Purdue – Just the type of guy Bellicheck loves. Great pick here. Hopefully Costazno goes instead and the Pats waste this pick…

San Diego – Nate Solder OT  Colorado – This team isn’t very flawed, but they could use help along a sometimes porous line. Carimi may be the better fit, but the Chargers have the luxury of drafting raw talent with high upside (Did you see his footwork at the combine???) Some sort of DE/LB is an option as well.

New York Giants – Gabe Carimi OT Wisconsin – A big physical OT to hopefully replace Kareem McKenzie at some point. If the Giants don’t have faith in Will Beatty, then maybe they need to get a left tackle that can handle speed rushers. Sherrod and Tyron Smith are still on the board too, and worth considering. The Giants’ offensive line needs a revamp, but Carimi fits their style.

Tampa Bay – Jimmy Smith CB Colorado –  The Bucs offense showed good progress with the emergence of Freeman, Blount, Mike Williams, and Kellen Winslow. Hopefully top picks Gerald McCoy and Brian Price will be healthy and able to contribute. Aqib Talib had 6 interceptions in 11 games but will likely be suspended this year. A corner to eventually replace an aging Ronde Barber is a good pick here.

Kansas City – Tyron Smith OT USC – Drafting well on the defense line has paid dividends for the Chiefs, now it’s time to start investing on the other side as this team matures.

Indianapolis – Corey Luiget  DT Illinois – You’ve never heard of him – but you should’ve. Although the Colts went D-line in the first round last year, Freeney and Mathis aren’t getting younger and run defense is a perennial problem for this team.

Philadelphia – Anthony Castonzo OG Boston College – The Eagles will welcome a guy who can immediately help prolong Michael Vick’s career… although I don’t see it…

New Orleans – Adrian Clayborn DE Iowa– Another DE to play opposite Will Smith. Once again, this team has the luxury of drafting BPA because this team lacks a glaring hole.

Seattle – Marvin Austin DT – North Carolina – Carroll is confident in his ability to develop young QB’s, so I could see Ponder or Dalton here. But the soft Seattle defense is still a priority and this guy makes the most sense from an immediate impact standpoint.

Baltimore – Brandon Harris CB Miami – Defensive players from Miami have worked out pretty well for this team in the past.

Atlanta – Allen Bailey DE – Pass rusher to compliment John Abraham. Although unlikely, another WR (Jon Baldwin see # 32) to compliment Roddy would be a great pick, I just don’t see them taking that route.

New England – TRADE with someone (San Francisco?) to land Andy Dalton… can’t wait to see what happens here…

Chicago – Jon Baldwin WR Pitt – While an OT like Derrcik Sherrod is a real possibility here. The Bears need a real receiver for Cutler. Baldwin will be a great match.

New York Jets – Phil Taylor – If he can stay healthy, this is a great value pick. Jets fortunate to have a position of need where it seems there is guaranteed to be an elite prospect. Rex, the same guy who drafted Haloti Ngata, replaces Kris Jenkins with a lot of man meat.

Pittsburgh – Mike Pouncey OG Florida – An upgrade at offensive line to help their abysmal line and pound the running game and keep Roesthisberger upright. Plus, the Rooneys are a smart organization and understand the value in putting together an o-line that has good chemistry.

Green Bay – Casey Matthews LB Oregon – SomePeopleThink I really am a sucker for these sort of brilliant PR moves.

SomePeopleThink Llamas Don’t Kill Humans

SomePeopleThink You Should Have A Happy 4:20!

SomePeopleThink Rappers Should Stop Remixing Adele

But not Big K.R.I.T. This dude is the damn truth. Check out this incredible live recording Krit made to Adele’s Hometown.

I’m telling you, if you haven’t started listening to him and his newest project Return of 4eva, then now is the time to get right.

SomePeopleThink MLB Batter Introduction Songs Need Improvement

I am always feeling good when I find myself sitting in Nationals park watching a baseball game – the air is always crisp, the lights are always bright, the people are always complimenting me on my Clinton Portis shirt and I’m by far the wittiest person in the whole damn stadium,  especially after successfully grundling sneaking in a good mixer for my Coca-Cola. Yep, I’m in my natural habitat, my element, and I’m absolutely ready to yell stupid things and embarrass the hell out of whoever is with me…

..but after a while my mind begins to wander away from the many different ways I can scream about Lance Berkman looking like a fat combination of Tony Stewart and Phil Mickelson; or about Pablo Sandoval’s humongous booty to the tune of Sir-Mix-A lot. Stemming from my frustration at hearing ‘Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy’ every time [insert white ball player from the country… i.e. Josh Willingham, Adam LaRoche, Austin Kearns, etc] comes to bat, I find myself  directing my thoughts to the mostly terrible intro songs that baseball players choose when they walk to the batters box.  The fact that these guys can do soo much more with this glorious opportunity kills me on the inside. “Bro, that’s straight yuck dogg,” is what I often think after hearing typical garbage such as Miley Cyrus, Three Doors Down, and Nickelback (whose lead singer kind of sounds like the noise when you cough and burp at the same time) blasting from the loudspeakers. I mean, these guys can choose any song they want to play before their life-defining moments of a Major League at bat… don’t they want these songs to portray them in the most awesome way possible?

I literally go through this thought process every single baseball game I attend and it gets me thinking – what would my intro song be every time I stepped up to the plate?

Well, after wasting about 70 hours of my life thinking about this list, here are my top 5 intro songs and my dream experiences to go with them (If you can, please play the songs while reading for full effect):

5. 

The Experience: The ship’s sinking, the skipper needs me, the masses are panicking. It’s bottom of the 9th – second and third – two outs – down by a run… I’m here baby, I’ll never let you go. I walk my way to the batters box in a slow, melancholy, almost scared manner… some might say vulnerable. Yet, once this song comes on, magic happens… I instantly give the people this pose…

You're crazy if you think I'd put a picture of Kate Winslet on this blog.

And all becomes right in this confusing world. With this music and this pose, you suddenly know for a fact that love exists. I don’t have the hair of Leonardo Di Caprio, but god damn, I look sexy swinging the bat while I warm up. And I’m not trying to power it out of the park. Haha nahhhh that’s not what I’m about. I caress you with an opposite field single girl. And that’s not a baseball I just smacked into right field, haha nahhhh, thats one of cupid’s arrows. I’m here, you’re safe now.

4. 

The Experience: Enough with the bullshit. We down by a run and it’s the top of the 8th inning and nobody is on base because my team sucks. Well, good thing I’m a fucking gangsta.  This song comes on and you know what’s good when I come up to the plate. I don’t walk to the batter’s box, I make my way over there like my name’s Kevin and I’m strutting through a Celtics starting lineup. This ain’t a game to me bro. I’m starving and these pitches are food to me… feed me sliders or feed me heat… I’m a monsta and I’m gonna eat!

No singles for me homeboy, I’m swinging for the damn fences. Bizzy.

3. 

The Experience: Last night I overdosed so hard on steroids that I started shitting out shakeweights. I don’t care though, I’m a mean mutha shuttt yo mouth. The owner wants me gone but there’s nothing he can do because I hit dingers so far that they make Babe Ruth’s butthole feel weird. This sound clip comes on as I walk up to the plate and the stadium hushes into an eerie silence– but that’s out of respect for my enormous forearms. The fans love me. Get ready for a show.

2.

The Experience: Home game… Playoffs… Unproven home team against the Yankees. Young vs. Old. Money vs. Scouting. Nobody in the stadium knows what to think. There’s hope, but you and everyone else are worried about who they can rest their dreams on, about who can defeat the evil empire. [ENTER STAR WARS EPICNESS]… and those questions are soon erased by happy thoughts of green light-sabers, midgets dressed in bear outfits, and the Millennium Falcon. I humbly walk to the batter’s box, not sure of myself, but with a deep feeling inside of me that I was meant to be here, that I was meant to do great things… and the stadium gets that sense too. You can feel the hope in the air.

I am him, I am the one, I am Keanu Reeves.

1.

The Experience: Okay, so I really don’t hit for power, most would label me as ‘warning track power’, my average is close to the Mendoza line a la Mark Reynolds (can someone please explain to me how to use ‘a la’?) and wowzers is my fielding bad. I make Aubrey Huff look like fucking Kenny Lofton. I’m owned in 3.7% of all fantasy leagues and I am the 3rd most dropped player this week. But it’s all good y’all. Once this song comes on, I intake the stadiums presence, breath all the hatred you had for me, and exhale it into thin air. Whitney Houston’s chorus comes on and her words seep through you like angel dust combined with tropical flavored skittles. In almost an instant you start to look at me like I’m a normal guy that you can trust, a guy that will always look out for your best interests, a guy that will protect you. All of a sudden you feel safe with me stepping to the plate with the game on the line. Know why? Because no matter what, it’s not about baseball anymore… it’s about love. And love always wins. (Shivers)

One love.

SomePeopleThink Charts Speak 1,000 Words

SomePeopleThink charts are best suited for corporate powerpoint presentations. Clearly that’s moronic. No one would read anything if everything could be summed up in charts. Apparently ‘Infographics’ is what people call them nowadays, but let’s just call them pictures with no writing (except for the labels of course). Regardless, the site, “I Love Charts” was recently recommended to me, so I checked it out a few days ago… and man was I happy that I did. If you want to be addicted entertained  for a solid 4 hours, while digesting serious creativity that plays to the top of your intelligence and makes you laugh so hard that LOL mandates a Z on the end, WITHOUT reading – then scope out this site. If I was as witty as these guys, I would just make a chart explaining what I just said to you…

I LOVE CHARTS

let the procrastination ensue…

I LOVE CHARTS

Some People Think NSFW Should be Outlawed (NSFW)

Some People think NSFW should be an obsolete idea to be excised from the corporate world. Personally, I’m glad I work in an industry where I’m allowed to do a lot of things most others can’t do at work. I can use facebook and Twitter, sometimes I even use it for work. No websites are blocked and we have an arcade machine in our break room. No dog or ping pong table, but clearly working in T.V. has its perks. So when I worked at my dad’s office in December, inputting product dimensions into their website, it made me realize that the way most businesses handle outside information like Facebook, Gmail, etc. is antiquated.

Far too many businesses view them as distractions, which is not the way most people perceive them. Employees only view them as distractions because they are conditioned to do so by their employers. It’s viewed as “cheating” or “sticking it to the man.” But if more employers were as progressive as, say, Google, I think it would do a lot of good for business.

First, when people are starting to space out at their desk they’ll take a break regardless of the availability of websites, etc. However, if you let them check their fantasy football team or do whatever else they want to do, people are generally more inclined to work harder when they do work. Isn’t the real motto of America not “E Pluribus Unum” but “Work hard, play hard?” (Greek Life UNITE!). Why not at work? (Within reason of course, porn probably shouldn’t be consumed at work. Unless you work at Vivid. Then Faye Valentine away until the sun goes down.)

Not only does it boost morale, but letting your people wander online can also help business directly. A teacher who’s teaching history could see an online article revising something that her 2-year-old textbook states, as she’s teaching it. An Ad man could stumble upon a competitor’s campaign and either scrap a similar one he’s been working on, or be inspired to write something better for his client.

An example from my own experience: I was GChatting with a friend and my producer mentioned we needed a photographer for a segment in an episode. So I mentioned that to who I was chatting with and got in touch with one of his friends. We didn’t end up using him but now I have an extra contact in my network. Additionally, I understand my business is different than most but thinking about things outside of work can help you “think outside the box” to use BusinessSpeak. It can lead you to places you wouldn’t have ventured without it, spur creativity and help the company’s bottom line.

I’ve recently been getting into Mad Men and it’s a great example of this cultural ideology. Clearly, it’s a little extreme with the drinking at work and the sexual harassment, but it shows how giving your employees a clear berth can be beneficial. Don Draper doesn’t give a shit if you drink at work, pass out and wake up 5 minutes before your presentation, as long as you nail it. Likewise, if your company has deadlines for employees and they enforce them, who cares how employees get their work done as long as it gets done and is up to par? Too many companies are Big Brother-y, and in the immortal words of one Erick Posser,  need to “REELLAAAAXXX.”

As an added bonus, there’s even new government legislation that entices businesses to not only chase profits but also keep their employees, or even the environment, in mind when making decisions.  Such “B Corporations” include King Arthur Flour, the 2nd largest flour-making company in America, and are immune from lawsuits by shareholders based on profit grounds. This basically translates to shareholders being unable to sue when companies make decisions that favor their employees over their bottom line. While this legislation is available in only 4 states, it’s a good start in making businesses legitimately tolerable places to spend ¾ of your waking hours of the week.

Maybe I’m just spoiled working in the industry I work in, but I think everyone should be allowed to surf the web and otherwise kill time to their desire at work as long as their work is quality and on time. Work hard, play hard.

Oh yeah: I promised this post would be NSFW so here:

You can read more about B Corp’s on the New York Times website here:

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/11/a-scorecard-for-companies-with-a-conscience/?hp

shmek

SomePeopleThink This Is Almost Too Saxy To Watch At Work

Pure comic genius. Guess who knows what to be for halloween this year!

 

Up next, yazz flute!

-piff

SomePeopleThink NBC Dropped the Ball…. and I’m not talking New Years Eve

SomePeopleThink awaking to the chirp of an incoming text message before 9 on Sunday morning can only mean bad news. I just didn’t realize the gravity of the situation.

You have got to be kidding me. There is one show that I actually make an effort to avoid missing each and every week – Perfect Couples. Sometimes I even bear through the commercials.

In a morning haze, I vaulted out of my bed, twisting and turning Black Swan style out of my sheets’ anaconda-like grip.  Racing to my computer, ‘prefcet cupples cancelled’ was the best I could do sans glasses or coffee. Google responded with what I knew was inevitably true. God. damn. it. Here are my five furious reaction to this story:

1) This show was brilliant (ugh, the past tense so soon…), like the second-coming of Friends, except with wittier dialogue, no obnoxious laugh track, and endings that always wrapped up happily but not in that yuppy, Full-House-esque way that nauseates most (see: Modern Family).  The characters weren’t one dimensional by any means, that besides occasional dabbles, weren’t an exaggerated stereotype. (Phoebe the weird chick and Joey the lovable idiot)… these characters had so much fleshing out left, that even mediocre storylines could easily be floated by this crew. And at risk of sounding sexist, the truth was that the 3 male leads in this show weren’t the 3 funniest characters (sorry Rachel… you may be the fondest in my heart, but everyone knows Joey, Chandler and Ross were the moneymakers). This show was spot on, it will be missed sorely.

2) NBC, in what somepeoplethink was a spectacular decision, stacked 5 of the funniest shows on television (maybe the top 5) in a row to dominate the Thursday night viewership (barring those who still can’t get over the novelty  of  the 27th rendition of American Idol…) Sheer brilliance.. Instead of sprinkling hit comedies throughout  the week and convincing viewers to tune in every night (not happening), they just put their eggs in one basket and provide me no reason to change the channel. It’s like NBC accrued the Phillies rotation of TV mainstream comedies and then traded Roy Halladay to tryout some AAA schlep…

3) Speaking of pitching rotations, the lineup ‘closes’ with a 6th show-  Outsourced. Which works nicely as a Brad Lidge comparison (hooray for dorky sports humor!) This show is awful in every sense of the word. Possibly racist, but certainly shallow, never surpassing  the lowest common denomination of humor. Every joke relies on the cultural rift between America and India, because America needs help being more ignorant. How the hell was this show not axed instead?

4) The show that’s replacing Perfect Couples is the Paul Reiser Show. You dont know who he is? Shocking! This replacement show chronicles the ‘road-back-to-normalcy’ of a once successful Sitcom star from the mid 90’s, who now wants back in the game. Enticing, huh? Despite the fact that we can watch this happen in real life with the stars of CougarTown and Mr. Sunshine (I really did like Friends, I swear), we clearly need a watered down, mainstream  version of  Curb Your Enthusiasm.

5) SomePeopleThink  the character Rex was quickly making a case for Best Character on TV alongside Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) and Dwight Shrute (if you don’t who he is then just nevermind…) His introduction of the ‘table-jump’ as a barometer on manliness was legendary, and Rex will be forever remembered despite this shows untimely ending. I am willing publicly wager anyone that he (Hayes MacArthur is the actor)  will appear in another show, playing a very similar character. Really NBC,  this was a terrible decision ( I am being polite since learning my mother reads this). If you could somehow muster up the courage to admit you were wrong, and re-air this show again next fall, the TV viewing world (the same people who coincidentally happen to be your customers) may forgive you….

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