Death to SPT?

We haven’t posted in awhile. This I know. This we all know. But I promise it is not to death to SPT. Not on my watch. There are things in this world I will fight to keep alive, and this is one of them. In honor of our nondeath, I proclaim death to other things.

DEATH TO VAGUEBOOKING

"I hate Thursdays."

Vaguebooking, if you’re unfamiliar with it, is the act of posting vague things on your facebook in attempt to elicit sympathy. “Long day, I need the weekend,” “I just need one break,” “Worse day ever!!” and anything involving “FML” are all good examples. I’d rather see any humblebrag of minor celebrity run-ins or pictures of delicious looking food any day than Vaguebooking. So Death to Vaguebooking!!

DEATH TO THE NFL LOCKOUT

I never was a huge NFL fan, but I’m glad this lockout is over. Mainly so people will stop talking about it. But also because the sport is great and so many people love it. GO RAIDERS and Death To The Lockout!

DEATH TO GOOGLE+

Let’s all admit it: Google+ was a cool idea and seemed really cool when it came out. But now? It’s just another social media site we all don’t want to update along with our other 2, 3, 4, or however many else you have. It’s cool and all, but I think it’s done. Death To Google+!

DEATH TO HIPSTERDOM

"I don't believe in dentistry or paying taxes"

We get it. You bought into the counterculture culture of counterculturedom to show you have your own culture. You like your lensless clear Ray-Bans. You like Band X and Band Y and this and that and whatever else we all know about Hipsters. It’s time for the next trend. Really. I can only hope it involves something stripper chic and tennis visors. Death to Hipsterdom!

DEATH TO WOMEN’S SPORTS HATERDOM

As the Women’s World Cup proved, Women’s sports can be interesting and entertaining. I think we all agree they’re not the same as the big boy sports (ones with dudes) but they have their own place. Stop hating on them because it’s cool. I admit, I’m minorly guilty of this but fuck it, I endorse women’s sports if only to watch them on mute. Especially women’s beach volleyball (Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh baby!!) Death to Women’s Sports Haterdom!

That’s the list for now. SPT isn’t on it. Because we’re still here.

Continue to enjoy our shit.

shmek

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About shmekie
I live in New York and make jokes

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