Some People Think These Two Should be International Diplmoats

Some People Think there is a lot going wrong in the world today. We have earthquakes, corrpuption, and Lady Gaga terrorizing our international communities. Politicians and nations worldwide keep talking, but theres not enough action. But take a look at these two. Two fresh faces. Just getting in all up in each other and really getting after it. Talking about the real issues. Like moonwalking and making sure you speak clearly. All you need is a little love, and maybe a lot of Jimi Hendrix solos in Hungarian train stations.

Some People Think This Man Is Rock n Roll

What up world, this is sway.

Welcome to another normal night in the life of our pal Randall. The arresting officers have taken Randall to a holding cell for having a couple adult beverages. But Mr. Opportunity sees this as his moment to shine. Time to have another one of his patented impropmtu acapella jam sessions.

Welllllll, You really wanna hear it? (Fast Forward to 2:44 to get to the good stuff)

That was crazily, right?

Are you ready for the remix?

Randall is available for appearances. $250 for a 4 song set. I’ve seen him 5 times. 1-877-BACKWARDS

Some People Think the Holiday Season is a Great Time for the Cinnamon Challenge

Cinnamon.

Delicious. Nutritious. oh so bootylicious.

Everyone’s favorite spice can be used to liven up the weakest holiday parties. Complete chaos will ensue. I’m sure most have heard of this or have tried it at some point. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it anymore. Call me old-school. This one’s a classic.

Challenge your local coward to a simple task: Consume one measly tablespoon of delicious, nutritious cinnamon. No more needs to be said. It’s at least good for 1-3 mintues of solid laughter and good times. and that’s all i’m here for. I’m just tryin to spread some holiday cheer. 1-3 mintues at a time. baby steps.

 

cinnamon challenges are much better when she ^ is involved.

 

Lex Thinks You’re Boring

Some people think Emma Watson is an accomplished young actress who’s future is brighter than the brightest star in all of the constellations, universes, and galaxies that have existed, do exist, and will exist at some point in the future.

Some people think Emma Watson is a fanboys’ dream, a gorgeous young temptress who plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter franchise.

Some people think Emma Waston should be celebrated for shunning the temptations of further celebrity and riches and continuing her journey down Higher Education Avenue.

I think she’s boring.

Claim to Fame: Her pilled-out parents find a group of people standing in a line. Thinking this line was for free percocets, the wacky Brits wait hours and hours with little Emma. They get to the front of the line and whaddya know? It’s not a free pill line. What a country. Emma sneaks her way into the audition room. And the rest is history. Mostly true story.

Why I think she’s boring:

Her haircut: Newsflash! Keira Knightley already F’d up her career with a dumb haircut. Hey Emma, if you’re so smart, take out your notebook and write this down. You look like a little boy and it’s creepy because everyone knows you’re still hot. You’re confusing a lot of people and when people get confused they turn to drugs and/or Texas Toast. According to Rehab.com, Emma Watson is the #1 cause of drug use in Sweden, Heaven, Cleveland, and Uranus (LOLz).

THAT’S F****** CREEPY!!!!!

She goes to Brown.

Brown University.

In Providence.

Have you been to Providence? It’s more boring than Emma Watson. The best thing about Providence is that it’s in Rhode Island and Rhode Island is small.

A brief history of Providence:

May 29, 1790: Admission to the Union.

Sometime in the late 1970’s or early 1980’s – Pauly D was born.

February 5, 1996 Coldest Temperature Recorded: -26 degrees

Thats about it.

I can’t believe I wasted so much time on someone as boring as Emma Watson. Someone wake me up when she shows up on Celebrity Wife Swap.

Some People Think this is the CraigsList Ad of the Century

Let’s argue with eachother until we’re both too mad to speak for days – 25 (Raynham)

Potentially sociopathic 25-year-old swm with commitment issues and firearms obsession seeks lithe redhead of similar age for disappointing sexual misadventures; tandem binge drinking.

A lazy, emotionally unavailable former network engineer, I now make more money than most to do almost nothing all day. I enjoy video games, movies, the discovery channel, and carrying a loaded handgun into places that wouldn’t expect it. I wear sunglasses a lot, I swear so often you’d think I was mentally handicapped, and I shit more than you will ever possibly understand. I spend money in a way that suggests I know that the world is ending, and yet despite that I constantly bitch about not having a real hobby. I like to sleep alone and I won’t ever stay over your house, and after about six months I’ll get bored and see how much of your personality I can manipulate before our relationship ends in a complete social meltdown. At that point, you’ll probably try to kill me, or at the very least, show up at my apartment in the middle of the night to scream obscenities at me and try and spit in my face. Before long, you’ll realize that I’m in love with my best friend, and our arguments about that will do little more than further justify my inevitable woodland hammerdeath.

My star sign is Sagittarius and I also enjoy dogs and stargazing. I can’t cook. Call me.

  • Location: Raynham
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 2087908544-0

PostingID: 2087908544

http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/m4w/2087908544.html

Some People Think LeBron James Will be Warmly Welcomed in his Return to Cleveland

Not these people.

Memo to Lebron: Traitors don’t leave legacies.We all witnessed the quitness.
Although, you’ve never really made it until South Park spoofs you. So Congrats KING James. You’ve made it.

 

 

 

Some People Think This is the Past, Present, and Future of Nutrition

You know what it is.

No, it’s not droppings in nature from Homely Palin. C’mon, we’re over her. Time to move on. Catch up. We move fast around here.

Guess again.

That’s right!! It’s the vaunted, hyped, mysterious, McRib.

Ever since The Simpsons came out with their Ribwich episode, deifying the sandwich to Zeus-like levels and dubbing their loyal followers “Ribheads,” I knew I needed to try it.

That’s when I was first introduced to the sandwich.

For centuries, Americans have traveled this great nation in search of this elusive Empress.

Fast forward to Saturday night. B-Crusin around, when it hits me like a Pacquiao left hook.

“Loveeeeeee, such a silly game we playyyyy”

McDonald’s marketing strikes again. This time on the radio. I need a McRib. What country is this? America? Ok, perfect. That means I have a Mcdonald’s Radius of 1.5707963. Everyone knows it is U.S. Law that there must be a Mcdonald’s within a diametrical measurement of pi (π) miles.

I now present the documentation of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy with the McRib.

6:33 PM: Drive-Thru, of course. Once again this is America. You think my fat-ass is getting out of the car?

6:34 PM: Order 1 McRib Value meal. SUPERSIZE THAT ISH!

6:35 PM: Nearly jump out of my car and fight the McDoanld’s employee who charges me .25 cents for Bar-B-Q Sauce. I thought this was America? Land of the free, home of the brave?

6:44 PM: Take pictures so I will never forget this day for the rest of my life.

6:46 PM: Take my first bite.

6:47 PM: Chubby.

6:48 PM: Halfway through this magical sandwich. I hope it never ends.

6:49 PM: It ends.

6:51 PM: Reflection.

6:52 PM: Buddy, are you alright? I never knew a sandwich could make me feel warm inside. She is my lady. I go to TheRulesofMarriage.com/USA/Sandwiches. You can’t marry a Sandwich/Sub/Hoagie/Gyro or BLT. Damn. (Sidebar: You can marry an omelette or a panini. I wonder who mades these rules…are they hiring?)

6:53 -9:43 PM: I think I blacked out during this time frame.

9:44 PM: I get the call. It’s time to hit the club. With a McRib in my belly.

11:21 PM – 1:57 AM: The club can’t even handle me right now.

2:19 AM: The Mcrib fueled my night unlike any Red-Bull, fourloko, or prescription drug ever could. It is why God created McDonalds. It may well be the fountain youth, 8th wonder of the world, and I’m pretty sure the McRib is what is inside Pandora’s box.

Catch – 22: It’s $3.99 for a value meal. So clearly they have priced out the common-folk from enjoying McRib’s on a day-to-day basis.

Conclusion: Every day I do not indulge in my McRib obsession is a miserable, miserable failure. Until next time……….

Lex Thinks You’re Boring

Some people think Bristol Palin is a role model.

Some people think she dances with the grace and elequence of an Elven fairy (I don’t know much about fantasy matters but I assume Elven fairies are quite graceful.)

Some people think she is the essence of a what a WOMAN should look like. (You can infer why I capitalized that.)

Some people think she is the expressively captivating daughter of one of the more polarizing political figures in recent American history.

You know what I think?

I think she’s boring.

Claim to fame:

-Having a child, out of wedlock, as a teenager. Single-handedly creating a freak sideshow that has significantly damaged her mother’s political aspirations. Some people think that’s pretty selfish.

Why she’s boring:

  1. She’s homely.
  2. Does anyone honestly care? Please be honest.
  3. Absolutely no redeeming qualities. That’s pretty difficult. Almost everyone has at least one redeeming quality. Take Lebron James for example. At least he donated $2 million dollars to the Boys and Girls Club for the most self-promoting, narsassictic…..Sorry. I’ll stop there.
  4. Did I mention she’s homely?
  5. I mean seriously. If I had 2-3 wine coolers, and I was at the club, and Bristol Palin came up to me, all I would be thinking was when did Rosie O’Donnell’s daughter turn 21 and how fast can I away from that horrible stench?

Does everyone think she’s boring?

No. check out this guy.

This dood took out his sawed-off shotgun (I’m not sure if the shotgun was actually sawed off but some people think it makes the story sound a lot cooler) and blasted his TV into the 8th dimension after Bristol Palin’s recent survival in the Dancing With The Stars results show. This is who watches Dancing With the Stars? What’s happening to America? Someone tell Sarah Palin to run in 2012, we gotta turn this country around.

***Breaking News: Upon hearing of her nomination in the inaugural ‘Lex Thinks You’re Boring’ column. Homely Palin has tried to spice it up a little bit by teaming up with America’s sweetheart: The Situation. Some people think you couldn’t have a more unlikely duo to film a safe-sex PSA. It’s a joke right?

somepeoplethink we are more legitimate than fox news

 

i know i do.

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