SomePeopleThink this is how the 2012 NFL Draft will turn out…

Some People Think I am a huge dork. I figure I should post this online if I am going to be non stop tweeting about it all night. I love the draft. Love it more than christmas. Below I have posted my mock draft – albeit in pretty sloppy fashion with very little analysis. Why? Because who the heck cares what I think. Here are some points I would like to establish beforehand

  • I know this draft will involve more trading this year, because there seems to more differentiation about player rankings than in years past.
  • That means my mock draft becomes pretty ugly pretty quickly
  • My draft contains spelling errors, poor formatting, and a general lack of aesthetic effort. I am fully aware. It becomes irrelevant in 3 hours. Relax.
  • Here’s how I rate my effectiveness of my mock:
  1.  5 points for correct player to correct team  in correct spot
  2. 3 point for correct player to correct team
  3. 2 points for correct player in correct spot
  4. 1 point for correct position to correct team in correct spot
  • simple right?
  • I try to do what I solely think will happen, but that vanishes pretty quickly as my wishful hinting gets closer as the drafts impends (i.e. matt khalil sliding to the bills)
  • The Jaguars will trade out of spot #7
  • Luke Keuchly will is the best front 7 guy to come out of this draft
  • Chandler Jones is my favorite defensive prospect, his bother is Bones Jones the MMA star, and I personally witnessed his other brother, Art Jones, break comes face (no really, his face) in two punches. I am a big believer in genes
  • Ryan Tannehill has bust written all over him which is why I think he’s perfect for the Dolphins
  • RG3 is my favorite prospect to come out of the draft in about a decade. Im ecstatic i get to see him play in DC this year. I have been on his bandwagon for about a year, year, I have the evidence. just ask.
  • Please refrain from name calling about how miserable my mock is, I know, I’m not very good at this. Please defer to SPT’s NFL insider Fred Horsman. 
  • Happy 2012 Nfl Draft. Please tweet at me @thegreatmikesby for insight.. it will make me feel cool for a minute
Freds Mock Draft Mike’s Mock Draft
team player position school player position school
1 ind andrew luck qb stanford ind andrew luck qb stanford
2 was Robert Griffin qb Baylor was Robert Griffin qb Baylor
3 min Matt Kalil ot usc min morris claiborne cb lsu
4 cle trent richardson rb alabama cle trent richardson rb alabama
5 tb morris claiborne cb lsu tb luke kuechly lb bc
6 stl justin blackmon wr ok st stl justin blackmon wr ok st
7 jac fletcher cox dt mississippi state jac stephon gilmore cb sc
8 mia ryan tanenhill qb texas a&m mia ryan tanenhill qb texas a&m
9 car michael floyd wr notre dame car fletcher cox dt mississippi state
10 buf Quinton Coples de unc buf Matt Kalil ot usc
11 kc david decastro og stanford kc dontari poe dt memphis
12 sea luke kuechly lb bc sea Quinton Coples de unc
13 ari reilley reiff ot iowa ari michael floyd wr notre dame
14 dal stephon gilmore cb sc dal mark barron s alabama
15 phi dontari poe dt memphis phi melvin ingram de sc
16 nyj mark barron s alabama nyj david decastro og stanford
17 cin dre kirkpatrick cb alabama cin dre kirkpatrick cb alabama
18 sd courtney upshaw olb alabama sd whitney mercilus de/olb illinois
19 chi janoris jenkins cb north alabama chi reilley reiff ot iowa
20 ten michael brockers dt lsu ten chandler jones de syracuse
21 cin cordy glenn og/ot georgia cin cordy glenn og/ot georgia
22 cle melvin ingram de sc cle stephen hill wr georgia tech
23 det chandler jones de syracuse det courtney upshaw LB alabama
24 pit donta hightower ilb alabama pit donta hightower ilb alabama
25 den devon still dt penn st den michael brockers dt lsu
26 hou kendall wright wr Baylor hou Jonathan Martin LT stanford
27 ne whitney mercilus de/olb illinois ne kendall reyes dt uconn
28 gb kendall reyes dt uconn gb shea mcclellin lb Boise st.
29 bal peter konz c wisconsin bal peter konz c wisconsin
30 sf Amini Silatolu og fsu sf Reuben Randle wr LSU
31 ne stephen hill wr georgia tech ne harrison smith S notre dam
32 nyg doug martin rb boise state nyg doug martin rb boise state

SomePeopleThink This Guy Might Actually Have Pumped Up Kicks

SomePeopleThink the robot is just the bailout for white people when they get pressured into the middle of the dance circle. SomePeopleThink dubstep sounds like a person beating the shit out of a Sega Genesis with the volume turned up on high. SomePeopleThink its great to dance to.  SomePeopleThink slow motion doesn’t exist. SomePeopleThink America will happily pretend to not understand the lyrics of a song about a kid plotting a terrible school shooting because the beat is just so irresistibly catchy…. This guy is not some people.

Watch until at least the 2:30 minute mark

SomePeopleThink Reed Hastings Can’t Do Anything Right

SomePeopleThink its poor form to shit on the guy whose already down. I’d like to think I am better than that… but I’m not. I will keep this rant against Netflix CEO Reed Hastings short though, and avoid my angry ranting tendency…. Sort of.

Netflix used to be awesome. Although I still currently am a subscribed customer (for now) I literally feel like Netflix has become a bag of punch lines I make during small talk with strangers.

I reiterate, Netflix used to be awesome.

Then everything went terribly wrong. It’s like Netflix Execs sat around a table and decided to see how many things they could do to piss customers off while raising it’s stock price. Here’s what I mean…

Winter 2010: During my rampant LOST addiction and series marathon, the quality of my instant stream is the equivalent of free Internet porn. The remedy? A slew of emails asking ‘How was the quality of you viewing experience?’ Which really means, we know your quality sucks, and we aren’t going to do much about it, but this email shows we kind of care, but again, we definitely aren’t going to do much of anything to fix it (this will become a theme)

The last 2 years: Netflix boasts hundreds of instantly available movies via streaming, 97% of which are totally unwatchable, 2% are watchable with the aid of several grams of weed, with the remaining 1% containing something I am mildly interested in seeing, but most likely have already seen. Case and point: my fiancé and I once used to bicker about which movie to watch. Now we argue about whether or not the one any movie is worth 2 hour of time and then ultimately decide 2 consecutive hours of House Hunters International laden with commercials is still an upgrade.

July 2011: Reed Hastings sends a terse  email announcing it is jacking up prices with little explanation. Bastard.

August 2011: Netflix stock prices plunges

September 19th, 2011: Reed Hastings realizes that people hate him because of the price upgrade. So he sends a mopey email, which I have taken the liberty to paraphrase below:

Dear Customer,

Look I am super sorry I raised prices. I feel pretty bad bad, but charging more makes a lot of sense. Here’s why: because we have researched and found that our DVD via mail business and instant stream business are two VERY DIFFERENT business… even though I will provide no validation of explanation of this statement. To make this more apparent though, I will now actually just create two totally separate business’ that you now have to manage in two separate places – because separating something that was once convenient from one place into two totally different places  will make this way less confusing and cumbersome for you. I will even give this new company where you can manage DVD’s a brand new super vague name (Qwikster) that could be the name of literally any business in the world – from a 711 knockoff to a Cash-for-Checks establishment. DON’T WORRY THOUGH – the envelopes will still be RED because I figured changing the color would devastate you guys more than anything else. Again, don’t worry, the envelopes ARE STILL RED! Again, I realize I’ve probably pissed you all off and I feel really bad, but I am only like 70% sure of what I did wrong, and since I can’t identify the problem, I can’t possibly fix it – but I am making an effort…  look I even wrote this personal email to you.  Oh also, great super sweet news, we now offer VIDEOGAMES! Isn’t that awesome all of you prepubescent 13 year olds?!? So many videogames! Now you never have to make friends! Oh also, about the price raising thing,… its still not cheaper, but now you have two separate things on your bill which is probably easier for you.  That’s about all. Thanks!

Your pal,

REED HASTINGS (this guys name is also something that pisses me off but I realize that is probably unfair)

September 19th, 2011 a little later: Reed realizes that he forgeot to check if the Twitter handle for Qwikster was already taken. It is….by a weed smoking degenerate. See for yourself:

quik2quik3

quik4

This is the only appropriate response I can think off

At least a new company name can’t possibly be a downgrade from Qwikster…

SomePeopleThink  Netflix officially sucks now. I have attached this cartoon I stole from the oatmeal.com in case you are still vague on exactly what happened. The bottom line is that Netflix is like 2 years away from becoming a Harvard case study on how to ruin a great business model with the worst customer service in the world. SomePeopleThink Reed Hastings needs to get this fixed fast before I just DVR my way out of Netflix forever.

SomePeopleThink Tim Tebow Is Proof That The NFL Media Sucks… as if any were needed

SomePeopleThink Tim Tebow is the golden boy. SomePeopleThink he is a guaranteed first round bust. SomePeopleThink if you’ve already put him in either of those categories you’re a moron.

It’s not easy knowing more about the NFL than almost everyone in the world (only almost since Jon Gruden is still alive). I recognize that its easier for the NFL Media to overkill one story to appease the wide population of NFL fans, aka America. This provide basic banter and hedlines for easy passing conversation. For NFL Junkies like me – it isn’t nearly enough, and it’s surely tiring  to watch ESPN dedicate 3 nightly segments per SportsCenter discussing the same ‘stories’ opposed to the comprehensive NFL coverage dorks like myself truly crave… and I know I am not alone. (NFL Network isn’t far behind…)

But amongst what has been maybe the most unique NFL offeseason in several decades, filled with what would be an endless pipeline of NFL stories for any half savvy NFL beat writer, we are stuck hearing about essentially the same 2 story lines all month. The ‘Dream Team’ (the only thing Vince Young will ever leave in the record books) and Tim Tebow Watch. I refuse to waste my time writing about the Eagles. So heres 10 reasons why this Tim Tebow coverage needs to end:

1) He has started 3 NFL games in his life. He went 1-2 with 5 TDs, 3 INTs and over 600 yards. That says a whole lot of nothing – good or bad.

2) He was drafted as a minimum of a two year developmental project. Anyone who has half a memory of  the 2010 NFL Draft surely remembers that he was drafted as a very raw talent, with immense upside, who would need several years of coaching and learning to become NFL ready. Across the board.

3) He has had 1 and a quarter offeseasons to prepare and learn the pro-level game. (mind you under two different head coaches, and two very different offensive philosophies)

4) He was drafted for his character, leadership, and work ethic tethered with great physical tools. Never was the possibility of him becoming an immediate starter, despite what the media has deemed the current expectation.

5) He is not a true pocket passer. Nor is Michael Vick, Aaron Rodgers, or Ben Roethlisberger. You can design offensive schemes around your offensive leader,  the Broncos would be wise to do so rather than fitting him into their mold.

6) All of this debate is about what was the 2nd to last worst team in the NFL next year. They are no where close to winning this year anyways. Who cares if they have to  chalk up a season to fostering his growth…

7) He is Tim Tebow. A money making machine. Just having him on the team makes the Broncos money – he pays for his own salary with his revenue draw. Running a franchise is business too.

8 ) Remember when he scored 6 running touchdowns last season in limited playing time.  Only 3 less than Vick in a fraction of the playing time. The same number as Steven Jackson, and one more than Mojo did last season. That’s interesting.

9) His ‘lack of QB accumen’ is based on primarily spectators watching the first two weeks of training camp after a 6 month lockout and a handful of preseason passing plays.

10) There are 31 other teams in the league. Each filled with interesting players and back stories. SomePeopleThink SportsCenter could spare a segment or two on them.

 

SomePeopleThink This is The Birth Of A Salesman

SomePeopleThink I was fired. Somepeoplethink I quit. Somepeoplethink I was abducted and raped by a traveling Lil’ Wayne Cover Band. My lawyers say I can’t officially make any statements at this time.  But I would like to apologize to my thousands, millions of dedicated followerswho have been anxiously awaiting my return. I have been a wandering nomad for the past two months, living scarcely better than a homeless man. But I am back, and now in the safe and gracious hospitality of RMcbeezy….

The reason for my absence is because of my move across country and the beginning of a new job. The job is a sales position with a startup company called SinglePlatform. I am responsible for the entire sales cycle, and have spent this entire weak trudging through the extreme heat essentially going restaurant to restaurant to pitch my amazing product. In a mere 5 days, I feel like I have learned a great deal of sales pointers that I think would benefit any sales person, and I can 100% assure you that these are tips you won’t find in any other of the 1,000 sales guru’s books…

1)   Glasses – Dark rimmed glasses. They simultaneously make me look nerdy, trustworthy and smart. I could be selling rat poison disguised as breath mints and I would still clean up. I would get only two questions – “Did you invent this?” (because I look so smart) and ‘Oh great, now I will take your whole lot. Will the death of my customers be slow and painful or dashingly quick? It’s not a deal breaker, but I am just curious…” (because I look so trustworthy). Fuck suits. Buy glasses.

2)   Play Dead – Or dying for that matter. Honestly, walking in cool and collected never got me anywhere. Walking in like I was seconds away from passing out from severe heatstroke assures me a cool glass on water, and some genuine facetime with the front house staff, if not a manager whose overly concerned about his insurance rate after patron dies on his property. Them boom, hit them with the pity pitch.

3)   Trendy – Say the wordy trendy as much as possible, and allude to trendy things. It’s flawless. Most everyone has a different definition of it, but every single person wants to be a trendsetter in one way or another. It goes something like this, “Hi my name is Trent (plant the seed), and I work for the modish (highbrow word) W hotels as their consultant (trendy job) to locate the top 20 (exclusive) trendiest spots in the trendy XYZ area …. Done. Sold. Game over. I now am one of the popular kids in highschool and I won’t make eye contact with you when we pass in the halls (don’t actually do that because its just rude) but they are hooked.

4)   iPad – iPads are to adults what sets of keys are to babies. People touch it on instinct, and once contact is made, they enter a methodical daze of brainless interaction. I just face the iPad in front of them as soon as possible. Before they can even yell at me to get the hell out of my restaurant because assume I am some Groupon groupie, hassling them for a deal I just plant a shiny screen in front of their face. It buys me a solid 10 minutes every time. Which is enough time to roofie them with my dazzling pitch. They have bought my ish before they even realize it, except they next day they don’t wake up feeling awful. Wow, I’m creepy.

That’s all I was able to garner in my first few days. Also, that being drenched in pure sweat isn’t as much of a turn off as you’d think, but don’t bank on that one. I will keep them coming in the future as i get more experienced, but this is a solid start. SomePeopleThink  I’ll have a book coming soon, via iPad only obviously.

SomePeopleThink Millenials Are Self-Entitled, Demanding, Delusional and Without Work-Ethic…

SomePeople Think We Started a Revolution….

SomePeopleThink Tiny Wings Is Your Next Mild Addiction

SomePeopleThink gaming is for nerds. It is. So I feel slightly out of my element posting about a video game. The truth of the matter is that this article is less about gaming, and more about finding good healthy ways to be unproductive. Like you’ve never ventured to the bathroom stall at 2:30 even though you stomach felt just fine? Please. We all have ways of putting off things we don’t want to do. So when your can’t possibly enter one more formula into excel and you’ve read all 1,322 tweets in your stream and weather-related facebook status’ lack interest and none of your 15 Words With Friends opponents will play you back THEN what do you do? Well this longwinded introduction is to tell you the answer is to play Tiny Wings.

Its $0.99 (So if your one of those snobs who scoff at paying for apps or at iPhones games in general then go fuck yourself read no further…) But its amazing. I draw some initial comparison to Angry Birds. It super simple, cartoony, can be played in very short intervals of time, and mostly you also play as a spherical bird. That’s where the actual gameplay comparisons end (its developed by a completely different company). I tried to write to describe how the gameplay works, and upon realizing how terrible I am at describing gaming mechanics I just asked god. Wikipedia describes it like so:

“In Tiny Wings, the player takes control of a bird whose wings are too small to fly. The goal of the game is to use hills in order to gain speed and flutter as long as possible. This is done by tapping and holding the screen in order to make the bird dive. The gameplay mainly revolves around timing your taps so that the bird slides down hills and flies up them. The game’s one level is separated into several islands, which have predetermined layouts. The game features special missions that allow players to upgrade their nest, which adds a score multiplier. These challenges revolve around reaching specific islands or performing certain tricks a number of times in one game. The game’s visuals change.”

If that’s confusing then I am sorry. Like in math, the more simple something is, the harder it is to explain

Imagine trying to explain to someone Angry Birds, “Your like this bird army, and you have to destroy a pig army by like, ugh, catapulting yourself into a tower of pigs… and you aim but you only have like a few birds to use… and ugh…. You wanna make things fall over and…” So I will stop – but aren’t you happy with that purchase? (I put the official video trailer below since I know you probably didn’t read the caption above) But trust me, its  simplicity is no true measure of how fun this game can be, especially when accelerating the clock seems impossible. (If my future employer ever reads this it will be really hard to justify my appitude for slacking off….) SomePeopleThink this works well for long car rides as well.  Enjoy.

 

SomePeopleThink This is The 6 Step Plan to Becoming a Hipster

SomePeopleThink hipsters rule. TheGreatMikesby certainly does. But being a hipster isn’t as hard as it seems, we promise. Our hysterical guest contributor Patrick Merryman has provided the perfect 6 step plan to overnight hipster glory. Follow verbatim for maximum effect.

Wardrobe– So you want to be a hipster? Appearance will be of the utmost importance. Your goal is to live by a credo that disregards what everyone else thinks. Starting with a tattoo that proclaims just that is a good start, but to truly begin, you will need to completely change your wardrobe in order to conform to the notorious anti-conformity group. This will be easy considering the clothes you are looking for are more than likely clothes other people have thrown out. Ransack your local Salvation Army, or Good Will. Remember, you are looking for clothes that, when worn, will cause others to make faces and say things like “that kid is trying too hard” or possibly “Is it me or does he smell incredibly dirty?” I would recommend wearing shirts with strange animals on them and wearing jeans so tight that a passerby will be able to hear your genitals scream (The more visible your ‘man-ridge’ is, the better). If at any point in the day you are complimented on your wardrobe by someone who looks like they may be a contributing member of society, it is imperative that you run home and throw out the entire outfit to start over.

Music- Whether you are a step ahead of the game or a step behind it, it does not matter because you can always lie. “I liked that band too…UNTILL THEY SOLD OUT!” Don’t forget the second part because this is applicable to about every band that comes out of nowhere with a hit song. If lying is not in your blood, which by the way makes you a pussy, you can just dig for garage bands and other nobody’s, then just convince yourself that you enjoy the sounds leaking from their instruments (or what ever household items they are banging on). A few current hipster favorites are Childish Gambino, Bon Iver, and Iron & Wine, but to be honest, as you read those names, they are probably not cool anymore, especially since I just mentioned them. Don’t you dare even mention Arcade Fire…If you don’t like the idea of even actually listening to music to pretend you like it you can just string together your own hipster band name. Take an adjective and an obscure noun and you will have created something…example “Have you heard of ‘Angry Cups’? Their old stuff is pretty awesome.”

Transportation- Get a bike. You care about the environment now. The bike will be with you all the time so it should be an extension of yourself. Consequently, don’t be surprised if you find yourself with an outdated, dirty, broken bike, which ultimately is a pain in the ass.

Home Décor- Antique shops will be your best friend. Similar to the way in which you found your clothes, you will be rummaging through things others have forgotten and discarded. ‘Bohemian’ or ‘Eclectic’ is the only style you decorate in – which is just a hip way of saying that you put zero thought into the outcome of the mish-mash of space known as your home, but Eclectic sounds like this clusterfuck wordly effect is by design. Next, throw your iPod out, and learn to appreciate vinyl or a walkman. Steal your grandparents old dresser or T.V., and if you are lucky you may be able to find an old Pabst Blue Ribbon sign to hang up in your room (which by the way is the only thing you drink now other than water, green tea, and expired cool blue Gatorade).

Conversation Topics- You will talk almost exclusively about things that were respected 10, 15, or even 20 years ago… or possibly never respected at all (Manute Bol, Chris Dudley, Rey Ordonez) – Super Nintendo, Where the Wild Things Are, Ninja Turtles, Pokemon, old and new political conspiracies etc… In the eyes of a hipster it’s only cool to be random, and annoyingly nostalgic, which will garner you a lot of attention. (When it comes to “getting attention” it’s important to act like you hate it, but you should do everything in your power to get it.)

Hate “The Man”- No more motion pictures featuring A-list actors. You will only see indie films featuring whoever the ‘actor disaster de jour’ is, and any picture involving heavy drug use. No more reading New York Times Best Sellers on a regular basis. You need to become an expert on two obscure books so you can post a quote from them on your Facebook profile and spring into action when anyone brings the titles up at some point. Don’t choose “The Great Gatsby”,  that ship sailed right when UrbanOutfitters began selling a shirt featuring the American classic on it. If someone brings up one of these obscure books it is your responsibility as a hipster to make that person feel stupid by proving how smart (and utterly useless) you are. If you feel like you are coming off like an Elitist and its making everyone hate you – don’t worry! SomePeopleThink that’s what being a hipster is supposed to feel like.

By: Patrick Merriman (@PatrickMerryman)

SomePeopleThink Lacrosse Players Are Tricky

SomePeopleThink that if America refuses to accept soccer for what it is, then lets give lacrosse a serious look.

SomePeopleThink This Is Cool Artwork

Photography inspiration

Graphic design inspiration

Photography inspiration

Illustration/Painting/Drawing inspiration

Are you adding a note or a person?

photo

Amsterdam Train Station by my good friend, Ross Culliton.

Photography inspiration

Vector inspiration

Enlightened

SomePeopleThink that one is me.
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