SomePeopleThink Mario Should Just Say F it

In life, it’s important to give props where props are due… and the video below, about Mario and Luigi and the stupid shit they have to deal with because of Princess Peach, deserves a lot of respect.

Told you so... Shout out to Pisani for this

And sure, I could tie in the fact that I’m going as a sexy ass Luigi this year for Halloween. And sure I could also mention that I rocked the shit outta that outfit as a college freshman, but I would deem that stuff as pointless. I will refrain from including that super cool information in this post.

But yea, this is one of the best single-actor, single-camera skits I have ever seen on YouTube… or anywhere for that matter. The star of this video is Kain Carter, a hopeful comedian, whose YouTube channel is known as HotDamnIRock.

Specifically, I want to call out his acting. It’s pretty fucking legit. Sure the introduction is hilarious (most of his videos are him talking about absurd ideas and issues, I encourage you check those out as well), but the real gold is after the 1:13 mark.

SomePeopleThink Creepiness is in Eye of the Beholder

There’s no real easy way to say this so I’m just going to give it to ya straight up (pause)… the pictures below are creepy as shit. They come to us from www.manbabies.com, a website I was recently informed about from my broseph coworker. And yes, that is no typo, it’s a website titled Man Babies. I don’t know how old or how popular this site is but I had to share. I just had to did it on em.

So without further adieu (I’m surprised too that I knew how to spell that), I give you Man Babies!

I repeat, Man Babies!

Eat Sand

High Score!!!

Awesome Throw

YUMM PEAS!

TO INFINITY! AND BEYOND!

Fast Asleep

^Aint this one adorable guys? Awwwwwwwww

The Grooms ManBaby

SomePeopleThink Apple Juice Makes them Sick

This may be a sign that I am slowly growing stupider, or a sign that I have not fully developed intellectually… but the funniest thing to me these days seem to be ‘dubs’ of older videos.

Duuuubbbsssssssss

I feel like a gangsta saying that. Duuuuuubbbbbb stack boiiiii. That’s such a sick phrase; Just once I want to say that without anyone immediately laughing at me. Just once man. I’ve got feelings too ya know.

But maybe that’s why I like these videos soo much, because when I explain the video I get to say dub a lot. I guess I use the past tense though when I explain them, and the word ‘dubbed’ doesn’t sound very cool, so no, that was some pretty stupid reasoning. Forget it. I should probably delete this whole paragraph and start over but screw it because me not deleting this pointless paragraph is my way of at least showing you that I at least tried… right?

Anyways, there is a purpose to this post, and the below video is exactly it. It’s a dubbed (that word fucking sucks) voice over a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Episode that has me dying every time I watch it. I used to watch this show when I was a baby but I had nooo idea what was going on the entire time. I think I really liked the lasers they all had and that dude with the weird metal strip across his eyes was from Reading Rainbow so I loved that dude. Too much pointless information in three paragraphs? Probably, so I’ll stop. Just watch the video, laugh, and pretend I never wrote this embarrassment of a post.

SomePeopleThink that Steve Blake, Bumcaverns, and Kittens Ruin Your Concentration

Writer’s block is a bitch. I don’t really know what else to say, other than well… I’m Stuck:

Stuck like the Cardinals having to start Max Hall at QB. Yipes was he was bad, he kind of looked like a resident of the shire out there. I guess he was kind of cute though, in a ‘I cry whenever I watch Rudy’ kind of way, ya know? In similar news, Alan Faneca retired today. Yipes does he wish he retired last year with the Steelers. Dude had a sweet ‘stache in ‘zona though. Respect. Are mustaches making a rebound? Quite possibly. I am going to ask around and get back to ya. One thing I do know for sure though: the word ‘yipes’ is in, I repeat, the word ‘yipes’ is in for 2011.

Stuck like a level 13 Magikarp in a pokeball, of which it’s only move is splash. That’s right, fucking splash! It hurts other pokemon by splashing water on them. What a joke! But this kind of gets me thinking, who’s more pussy: Magikarp and its splash move or any pokemon that loses any amount health points because of it’s freakin splash move. Think about it… really though, think about it… ohhh yeaaaa, nah you right, it’s still Magikarp. What a pussy.

Damnit, at this point I’m even stuck like… eh fuck it. I’m just stuck. I was trying to think of something clever to write here but I just don’t have it in me at the moment. I wanted to delve away from sports and video games with this next stuck reference but lets be serious, my range is pretty weak, it’s similar to that of Link’s gale boomerang attack on Super Smash bros and Josh Smith’s outside game past 15 feet. It’s tough for me, sometimes I wish I could be reincarnated as a 12-year old boy. I think I’d be really cool and have a lot of friends… as long as Abercrombie Fitch zip pants and new balances weren’t involved in the equation.

But yea I’m stuck and this really disappoints me. I have been MIA on SomePeopleThink for the last couple weeks and it’s been really bothering me; I was really hoping to get a good post up tonight. Maybe throw up a video or two, write up a schmediumly funny post about the video, and then link it on Reddit for everyone on there to call me stupid and gay. Pretty standard really. I just wanted to get back in the game and get my blogging swagger back but it just didn’t happen tonight. I blame each one of these factors for my lack of a post:

Steve Blake

Like any mid-20 year old male, I am now going through my ‘I hate Steve Blake phase’ that hits so many of us at this tender point in life. It’s been a tough couple weeks and tonight it really hit the fan. I spent a lot of time thinking about how he set white basketball players back 15 years simply because of his goofy ass face. I hate him. So much so that I decided to take my phase to the next level and make a funny Steve Blake photo-shopped picture of him:

Im just kidding… I am way too fucking lazy to actually do all that work. I’ll just call him out on twitter again tomorrow and that’ll pretty much suffice my hatred’s requirements.

Bumcaverns

I heard a good joke today…

Employee: I don’t think I can make it into work today, I’m not feelilng too well.

Boss: Why, what’s wrong?

Employee: I think I have Anal Glaucoma.

Boss: Anal Glaucoma? What’s that?

Employer: I don’t see my ass coming into work today!

Pretty funny joke, right? Anyways, I remembered it tonight and it got me thinking, I feel like we should stop using the word ‘anal’ and instead, use the word bumcavern when referring to the ‘anus’ area. Bumcavern is way more truthful. My thinking is that when you see a cavern, it’s dark, mysterious and nobody really knows what’s down there… yep, sounds about right.

Kittens

Starting tomorrow, I’m fostering two kittens for 5 weeks—my  good friend is adopting one and she can’t have pets at her place—crazy right? I’m pretty excited. I have been thinking all night about some cool things I can do with them. Here is what I have come up with so far:

  • Build a lego castle, put cat food in the middle of the castle, and do my best to defend the castle from the dragon kittens. Moats will most likely be involved. Still debating the implementation of fire.
  • Dress one cat up really pretty and call her Kim; Feed one of the cats a bunch of food and call her Khloe.
  • Put them on a leash, go for a walk, and see if anybody will talk to me, specifically girls.
  • Let them loose around my apartment building and yell, “they have rabies! Oh my god they have rabies!”

That’s all I got so far, but I’m still working on it. Any suggestions?

Yep, I’ve been trying to battle through writers block all night but I just can’t get those thoughts out of my head so I think it’s about time for me to just quit, especially since I think I hear sex above my apartment. Not completely sure it’s sex but then again, what else would it be at 1 in the morning? No yea, it’s sex, I just heard a weird scream. It kind of sounded like a wounded moose. I hope bumcaverns aren’t involved.

One love

SomePeopleThink the NFL Draft Makes for a Great Drinking Game

By the Great Mikesby:

I know creating drinking rules to TV events is sooo freshman year. But lets face it, freshmen almost have souls and the NFL Draft is long. I love it, but it’s long. Fun drinking games can help make that 4th hour  a heck of a lot more interesting. Here’s how to play:

First make your Mock Draft, even if it’s just ripping off mine. Then drink to these rules. (As an aside, I never got the dynamics of this type of drinking game – so you can substitute drinking yourself for the person of your choice) Hooray for competition! I’ll most likely be sitting alone in my Nerdom watching tonight, so these rules will be self-imposed.

1)    Every time you properly select a player going to the right team in the right spot, chug for the number of seconds that the pick is (makes corrects picks late in the draft real valuable).

2)    If you select a player in the right spot, wrong team, take a sip.

3)    If you select a player to the right team in the wrong spot (due to trades) take a sip.

4)    Everytime there is an awkward live TV moment, take a sip.

5)    If this awkward moment is a result of Todd McShay making Mel Kiper look foolish, take a bigger sip.

6)    Every time an announcer refers to a player as an animal or with animal-like qualities (i.e. vision like a hawk, strength like a bear, plays like a silverback gorilla [used on Rolando McClain last year btw]), take an elephant-like gulp.

7)    Every time a player is compared to a hall of famer, take a sip.

8)    The audience boo’s…take a sip.

9)    Any time the word ‘swagger’ is used, take a sip.

10) Whenever a relative who plays/played in the NFL is mentioned, take a sip.

11) Every time ESPN introduces a new ‘expert’ after the first 5, take a sip. This could get messy, so make sure you are keeping track…

12) If the clock winds down to 30, start chugging until a pick is made.

13) Take a shot if the Lions draft a WR in the first round.

14) Take a shot if the Vikings miss their pick … I have a feeling this may actually happen again this year…

15) If a current event totally unrelated to football is mentioned, take a sip (i.e. Royal Wedding, Fast & The Furious, the country of Mexico…), take a sip.

16) Flowing tears equals flowing beers. Take a sip every time a player cries.

17) Any time Mark Schlereth looks like he may secretly be urinating on set into a towel, go relieve yourself. Supposedly, this actually happens…

18) Every time there is an awkward white person/black person interaction (i.e. handshake, use of words, comments…), take a sip.

19) Every time a player is clearly unhappy about where he landed, take a sip. Then curse at him for whining about making millions of dollars for playing football.

20) SomePeopleThink this will lead you to not remember anything past the 2nd round. If you think that doesn’t matter, then you don’t deserve to play. Take a sip of ammonia or something…

SomePeopleThink Rappers Should Stop Remixing Adele

But not Big K.R.I.T. This dude is the damn truth. Check out this incredible live recording Krit made to Adele’s Hometown.

I’m telling you, if you haven’t started listening to him and his newest project Return of 4eva, then now is the time to get right.

SomePeopleThink MLB Batter Introduction Songs Need Improvement

I am always feeling good when I find myself sitting in Nationals park watching a baseball game – the air is always crisp, the lights are always bright, the people are always complimenting me on my Clinton Portis shirt and I’m by far the wittiest person in the whole damn stadium,  especially after successfully grundling sneaking in a good mixer for my Coca-Cola. Yep, I’m in my natural habitat, my element, and I’m absolutely ready to yell stupid things and embarrass the hell out of whoever is with me…

..but after a while my mind begins to wander away from the many different ways I can scream about Lance Berkman looking like a fat combination of Tony Stewart and Phil Mickelson; or about Pablo Sandoval’s humongous booty to the tune of Sir-Mix-A lot. Stemming from my frustration at hearing ‘Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy’ every time [insert white ball player from the country… i.e. Josh Willingham, Adam LaRoche, Austin Kearns, etc] comes to bat, I find myself  directing my thoughts to the mostly terrible intro songs that baseball players choose when they walk to the batters box.  The fact that these guys can do soo much more with this glorious opportunity kills me on the inside. “Bro, that’s straight yuck dogg,” is what I often think after hearing typical garbage such as Miley Cyrus, Three Doors Down, and Nickelback (whose lead singer kind of sounds like the noise when you cough and burp at the same time) blasting from the loudspeakers. I mean, these guys can choose any song they want to play before their life-defining moments of a Major League at bat… don’t they want these songs to portray them in the most awesome way possible?

I literally go through this thought process every single baseball game I attend and it gets me thinking – what would my intro song be every time I stepped up to the plate?

Well, after wasting about 70 hours of my life thinking about this list, here are my top 5 intro songs and my dream experiences to go with them (If you can, please play the songs while reading for full effect):

5. 

The Experience: The ship’s sinking, the skipper needs me, the masses are panicking. It’s bottom of the 9th – second and third – two outs – down by a run… I’m here baby, I’ll never let you go. I walk my way to the batters box in a slow, melancholy, almost scared manner… some might say vulnerable. Yet, once this song comes on, magic happens… I instantly give the people this pose…

You're crazy if you think I'd put a picture of Kate Winslet on this blog.

And all becomes right in this confusing world. With this music and this pose, you suddenly know for a fact that love exists. I don’t have the hair of Leonardo Di Caprio, but god damn, I look sexy swinging the bat while I warm up. And I’m not trying to power it out of the park. Haha nahhhh that’s not what I’m about. I caress you with an opposite field single girl. And that’s not a baseball I just smacked into right field, haha nahhhh, thats one of cupid’s arrows. I’m here, you’re safe now.

4. 

The Experience: Enough with the bullshit. We down by a run and it’s the top of the 8th inning and nobody is on base because my team sucks. Well, good thing I’m a fucking gangsta.  This song comes on and you know what’s good when I come up to the plate. I don’t walk to the batter’s box, I make my way over there like my name’s Kevin and I’m strutting through a Celtics starting lineup. This ain’t a game to me bro. I’m starving and these pitches are food to me… feed me sliders or feed me heat… I’m a monsta and I’m gonna eat!

No singles for me homeboy, I’m swinging for the damn fences. Bizzy.

3. 

The Experience: Last night I overdosed so hard on steroids that I started shitting out shakeweights. I don’t care though, I’m a mean mutha shuttt yo mouth. The owner wants me gone but there’s nothing he can do because I hit dingers so far that they make Babe Ruth’s butthole feel weird. This sound clip comes on as I walk up to the plate and the stadium hushes into an eerie silence– but that’s out of respect for my enormous forearms. The fans love me. Get ready for a show.

2.

The Experience: Home game… Playoffs… Unproven home team against the Yankees. Young vs. Old. Money vs. Scouting. Nobody in the stadium knows what to think. There’s hope, but you and everyone else are worried about who they can rest their dreams on, about who can defeat the evil empire. [ENTER STAR WARS EPICNESS]… and those questions are soon erased by happy thoughts of green light-sabers, midgets dressed in bear outfits, and the Millennium Falcon. I humbly walk to the batter’s box, not sure of myself, but with a deep feeling inside of me that I was meant to be here, that I was meant to do great things… and the stadium gets that sense too. You can feel the hope in the air.

I am him, I am the one, I am Keanu Reeves.

1.

The Experience: Okay, so I really don’t hit for power, most would label me as ‘warning track power’, my average is close to the Mendoza line a la Mark Reynolds (can someone please explain to me how to use ‘a la’?) and wowzers is my fielding bad. I make Aubrey Huff look like fucking Kenny Lofton. I’m owned in 3.7% of all fantasy leagues and I am the 3rd most dropped player this week. But it’s all good y’all. Once this song comes on, I intake the stadiums presence, breath all the hatred you had for me, and exhale it into thin air. Whitney Houston’s chorus comes on and her words seep through you like angel dust combined with tropical flavored skittles. In almost an instant you start to look at me like I’m a normal guy that you can trust, a guy that will always look out for your best interests, a guy that will protect you. All of a sudden you feel safe with me stepping to the plate with the game on the line. Know why? Because no matter what, it’s not about baseball anymore… it’s about love. And love always wins. (Shivers)

One love.

SomePeopleThink Derrick Rose is the Best Player in the NBA

This video shows exactly why some people think this:

SomePeopleThink Toddlers Love Kid Cudi

This just might be the coolest little girl in the entire world. The girl is probably around a year old and she’s already got more swag than Nolan Smith. Big props to the dad in this video. I hope my future wife lets me blast Cudi while the baby (whom I will also call ‘Boo’) is in the backseat one day. I also hope she lets me dress her in lil baby Jordans and teach her to always address me as ‘Daddy F baby’… but thats probably a long shot.

Notice how unhappy she was until my homie Cudi came blaring on the speakers. She had a look on her face like she was a combination of being confused, scared, and close to taking a humongo dumpo in her diapo (I’m a G with baby talk). Very likely it was all of the above. But once Cudder’s jam, ‘Cleveland is the Reason’ came on with it’s heavy base and smooth snare, it was almost like she went immediately into an undescribably excited trance, leading to a shocked face and some pretty impressive dance moves. This might be pure speculation but I believe she was quoted at the time as saying, “[fuck this car seat dad, I’m gonna throw my damn hands up and get my lean on, I see ya Cleveland, Cudder!].” I keep telling people that dancing is all in the shoulders, and this baby girl proves this point in the most absurdly cute manner ever… thanks boo.

Some People Think This is Some Good Music – The Top 5 Songs I’ve Been Bumping to This Week

Wale – Hold Yuh Freestyle

Wiz Khalifa – No Sleep

Big K.R.I.T – Dreamin (You need to start listening to this guy ASAP – He just released an unbelievable album titled ‘Return Of4eva’… for free. Click here to listen and download)

J.Cole – Show me Somtin’

Mac Miller – Face in the Crowd

Throwback of the Week:

Jay-Z – Dirt Off Your Shoulder (Bittersweet Symphony Remix) – Still my favorite song of all time

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