Death to SPT?

We haven’t posted in awhile. This I know. This we all know. But I promise it is not to death to SPT. Not on my watch. There are things in this world I will fight to keep alive, and this is one of them. In honor of our nondeath, I proclaim death to other things.

DEATH TO VAGUEBOOKING

"I hate Thursdays."

Vaguebooking, if you’re unfamiliar with it, is the act of posting vague things on your facebook in attempt to elicit sympathy. “Long day, I need the weekend,” “I just need one break,” “Worse day ever!!” and anything involving “FML” are all good examples. I’d rather see any humblebrag of minor celebrity run-ins or pictures of delicious looking food any day than Vaguebooking. So Death to Vaguebooking!!

DEATH TO THE NFL LOCKOUT

I never was a huge NFL fan, but I’m glad this lockout is over. Mainly so people will stop talking about it. But also because the sport is great and so many people love it. GO RAIDERS and Death To The Lockout!

DEATH TO GOOGLE+

Let’s all admit it: Google+ was a cool idea and seemed really cool when it came out. But now? It’s just another social media site we all don’t want to update along with our other 2, 3, 4, or however many else you have. It’s cool and all, but I think it’s done. Death To Google+!

DEATH TO HIPSTERDOM

"I don't believe in dentistry or paying taxes"

We get it. You bought into the counterculture culture of counterculturedom to show you have your own culture. You like your lensless clear Ray-Bans. You like Band X and Band Y and this and that and whatever else we all know about Hipsters. It’s time for the next trend. Really. I can only hope it involves something stripper chic and tennis visors. Death to Hipsterdom!

DEATH TO WOMEN’S SPORTS HATERDOM

As the Women’s World Cup proved, Women’s sports can be interesting and entertaining. I think we all agree they’re not the same as the big boy sports (ones with dudes) but they have their own place. Stop hating on them because it’s cool. I admit, I’m minorly guilty of this but fuck it, I endorse women’s sports if only to watch them on mute. Especially women’s beach volleyball (Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh baby!!) Death to Women’s Sports Haterdom!

That’s the list for now. SPT isn’t on it. Because we’re still here.

Continue to enjoy our shit.

shmek

SomePeopleThink This is The 6 Step Plan to Becoming a Hipster

SomePeopleThink hipsters rule. TheGreatMikesby certainly does. But being a hipster isn’t as hard as it seems, we promise. Our hysterical guest contributor Patrick Merryman has provided the perfect 6 step plan to overnight hipster glory. Follow verbatim for maximum effect.

Wardrobe– So you want to be a hipster? Appearance will be of the utmost importance. Your goal is to live by a credo that disregards what everyone else thinks. Starting with a tattoo that proclaims just that is a good start, but to truly begin, you will need to completely change your wardrobe in order to conform to the notorious anti-conformity group. This will be easy considering the clothes you are looking for are more than likely clothes other people have thrown out. Ransack your local Salvation Army, or Good Will. Remember, you are looking for clothes that, when worn, will cause others to make faces and say things like “that kid is trying too hard” or possibly “Is it me or does he smell incredibly dirty?” I would recommend wearing shirts with strange animals on them and wearing jeans so tight that a passerby will be able to hear your genitals scream (The more visible your ‘man-ridge’ is, the better). If at any point in the day you are complimented on your wardrobe by someone who looks like they may be a contributing member of society, it is imperative that you run home and throw out the entire outfit to start over.

Music- Whether you are a step ahead of the game or a step behind it, it does not matter because you can always lie. “I liked that band too…UNTILL THEY SOLD OUT!” Don’t forget the second part because this is applicable to about every band that comes out of nowhere with a hit song. If lying is not in your blood, which by the way makes you a pussy, you can just dig for garage bands and other nobody’s, then just convince yourself that you enjoy the sounds leaking from their instruments (or what ever household items they are banging on). A few current hipster favorites are Childish Gambino, Bon Iver, and Iron & Wine, but to be honest, as you read those names, they are probably not cool anymore, especially since I just mentioned them. Don’t you dare even mention Arcade Fire…If you don’t like the idea of even actually listening to music to pretend you like it you can just string together your own hipster band name. Take an adjective and an obscure noun and you will have created something…example “Have you heard of ‘Angry Cups’? Their old stuff is pretty awesome.”

Transportation- Get a bike. You care about the environment now. The bike will be with you all the time so it should be an extension of yourself. Consequently, don’t be surprised if you find yourself with an outdated, dirty, broken bike, which ultimately is a pain in the ass.

Home Décor- Antique shops will be your best friend. Similar to the way in which you found your clothes, you will be rummaging through things others have forgotten and discarded. ‘Bohemian’ or ‘Eclectic’ is the only style you decorate in – which is just a hip way of saying that you put zero thought into the outcome of the mish-mash of space known as your home, but Eclectic sounds like this clusterfuck wordly effect is by design. Next, throw your iPod out, and learn to appreciate vinyl or a walkman. Steal your grandparents old dresser or T.V., and if you are lucky you may be able to find an old Pabst Blue Ribbon sign to hang up in your room (which by the way is the only thing you drink now other than water, green tea, and expired cool blue Gatorade).

Conversation Topics- You will talk almost exclusively about things that were respected 10, 15, or even 20 years ago… or possibly never respected at all (Manute Bol, Chris Dudley, Rey Ordonez) – Super Nintendo, Where the Wild Things Are, Ninja Turtles, Pokemon, old and new political conspiracies etc… In the eyes of a hipster it’s only cool to be random, and annoyingly nostalgic, which will garner you a lot of attention. (When it comes to “getting attention” it’s important to act like you hate it, but you should do everything in your power to get it.)

Hate “The Man”- No more motion pictures featuring A-list actors. You will only see indie films featuring whoever the ‘actor disaster de jour’ is, and any picture involving heavy drug use. No more reading New York Times Best Sellers on a regular basis. You need to become an expert on two obscure books so you can post a quote from them on your Facebook profile and spring into action when anyone brings the titles up at some point. Don’t choose “The Great Gatsby”,  that ship sailed right when UrbanOutfitters began selling a shirt featuring the American classic on it. If someone brings up one of these obscure books it is your responsibility as a hipster to make that person feel stupid by proving how smart (and utterly useless) you are. If you feel like you are coming off like an Elitist and its making everyone hate you – don’t worry! SomePeopleThink that’s what being a hipster is supposed to feel like.

By: Patrick Merriman (@PatrickMerryman)

SomePeopleThink This is How You Cook

This girl is freaking hilarious. After 30 seconds of watching this video I knew I was gonna post it. It combines 3 of my favorite things: drinking, breakfast, and smashcuts. I can’t decide if she’s actually getting drunk or if she’s just a good actor, but either way I’m digging it. Some of her one liners absolutely killed me, especially: :46, 1:39, 1:42, 2:42, 3:10.

Enjoy!

Stay hungry my friends.

-piff

Thank to Ileza and Ross for passing this one along.

Some People Think I shouldn’t be listening to techno at 11:45 pm on a Monday

But unfortunately for my sleep schedule, I had a fucking AWESOME weekend. You know, one of those weekends where you wake up Monday morning with a little bit of a headache still from Saturday (don’t judge me, I’m not in college anymore).  Anyway, I went to a show Saturday then went to a bar with a killer DJ and as a result I can’t stop banging techno. Below are a few songs that I cant get out of my head, hope you enjoy.

Eric Prydz – Pjanoo

Brenton Duvall – Mean Planes & Taylor Gangs (Wiz Khalifa and Taylor Swift)

Afrojack – Take Over Control (Feat. Eva Simons)

Crystal Castles – Pap Smear

Paper Diamond – Imagine the Possibilities

Crystal Castles – Not In Love (Ft. Robert Smith)

Ellie Goulding – Lights (Bassnectar remix)

Thats it for now, I have a few more that I’ll save for next time. Saw Crystal Castles again this weekend (see above) and it was freaking awesome as expected. I highly recommend everyone checks out both of their albums (both self-titled, so hipster) if you enjoy the songs above.  And definitely see them if they come to your city.  Also Brenton Duval is the same guy who put out the Lights! mash-up with Ellie Goulding and Wale’s Guilty Pleasure, above is another version of the vocals by bassnectar which I also like. Her voice was made for techno. Anyway I’m waiting on the setlist from the DJ from Saturday so maybe ill have a few more goodies for ya later on, but enjoy these until then.

one!

-piff

SomePeopleThink This Is What Indie Music Hipsters Need For Valentine’s Day

Don’t roll your eyes because there is a “self-proclaiming hipster alert” in the title. If you want to hear all the popular stuff (not always a bad thing) I’d recommend you scope this playlist. But if you’re a wannabe hipster like myself, then check this out. First off, I admit, I have no idea who allocates music genres  and why some people try to classify an endless spectrum of evolving music into cookie cutter categories. I really am not sure what  my perfect playlist classifies as (Pop Indie Alt Electronic Rock Indie???); but I am sure that some people think these are hip. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I figured I’d post my favorite Indie ‘love’ songs right now. Not all of these tracks are brand new, but they all come from some of my favorite Indie bands. So if you’re into that kind of thing, try adding these to your V-Day Playlist.

Discovery – Carby (Feat. Ezra Koenig): OK, so this may be a song from the perspective of a 15 year old girl struggling with love and teen angst, but we can all relate to that right?  I know I can… Plus, this super-catchy beat is more addictive than crack laced with 24K gold dust. (Quite a romantic Valentines day gift I might add…)

Ok Go – I Want You So Bad I Can’t Breathe:  It opens…

In your fitted raincoat and tangled winter hair
Cheeks a little rosy in the February air
Running through the subway to catch the Uptown train
Spend the night just dancing…

… unfolding like a poem enitled Valentines Day. Hi, my name is The Great Mikesby and I am in love with ‘Of the Blue Colour of the Sky’. Fine, I said it. If you haven’t caught on by now, I am obsessed with Ok Go’s new album. This album is hip like Lou Reed circa 1967. Perhaaaaps that’s a bit of an exaggeration… and a blatant attempt to name drop super-hip things from way before my time to appear cooler than I really am. Hi, my name is The Great Mikesby and I pretend to know about hip things and name drop to validate my hipster status. This may be more of a song for those with heartbroken souls, but it wouldn’t be Valentines Day without some unbearable loneliness and painstaking heartache, right?

Animal Collective – My Girls: The phrase ‘My Girl’ has always haunted my love life since I saw that Mcauley Caulkin movie when  I was 10 and balled until the next morning. (And since induced a paralyzing fear of bees). But if this song is cool enough to open for Skins, its cool enough for me. That; and it seems like the perfect song to jam right after ideal first date.

Florence & The Machine – You’ve Got the Love: Alright – done with my electronic kick. This tune is more for the ‘I had a hard day at work and I come home to find my lover did something unbelievably awesome to remind me why I exist” type mood. But if you’ve ever come home to  freshly made penne a la vodka  or the first half of the Syracuse game magically recorded on your DVR – then you know what I am talking about.

Ra Ra Riot – You and I Know: I couldn’t make a hipster playlist and exclude my favorite Indie band. It just wasn’t gonna happen. The problem was figuring out which track to choose. Winter ’05 is the best love song of all time, mostly because that song was written about my life. But then how could I not choose this video for my best  Valentines Day music list (seriously though):

But neither of this ow were my officisl selections. Soooo you may be asking why I chose You and I Know when it may onlybe Ra Ra’s 3rd  best love song. I’ll tell you why under 3 provisions:

  1. Listen to the song all the way through – the crescendo into it’s emotion-packed ending alone warrants is place on this love list
  2. Replace the word ‘every’ with ‘reverie’
  3. Remember that it’s my girl Alexndra Lawn singing …

aaaand… now you’re in love too. Yea, apparently angels do exist .

The XX – Basic Space: SomePeopleThink they can cut the sexual tension of this song with the thorns of a dozen roses.

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